


Rats, Hogs and Ice Bears: College AU.

by Palus_Hiemalis



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: ...eventually, Alternate Universe - College/University, Brotp, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/F, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Judas Priest features at least once, M/M, Makeover, Mei is oblivious, Multi, Platonic Cuddling, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Whump, cw slurs featured once, ice bears, junkrat is a scheming gremlin, just two gays and two lezzos getting along, lots of hanging around in pyjamas, mako is done, roadrat - Freeform, romcom tropes, shakespeare levels of tomfoolery, whacky mishaps, zarya is full of gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:55:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 22,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29593812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Palus_Hiemalis/pseuds/Palus_Hiemalis
Summary: Mei has a giant crush on her giant roommate Zarya, but she doesn't want to distract her or herself from what's important.Zarya finds her sweet roommate too much to bear when she has so much on her shoulders.And, as much as Mako wants to stop him, Jamison just can't help running his mouth.Cuddles. Kisses. Part Time Jobs. Cafes. Studying. Platonic napping. Misunderstandings. Autumn leaf piles. Trauma. Skinny love. Tears. Gay mishaps. Bubble tea. Break ins. Puddle jumping. Shenanigans inbound.College AU fluff fic of my two ride-or-die otps & brotps living in the same dorm.Drama and romance <3Mei/Zarya & Roadhog/Junkrat
Relationships: Aleksandra "Zarya" Zaryanova/Mei-Ling Zhou, Junkrat | Jamison Fawkes & Aleksandra "Zarya" Zaryanova, Junkrat | Jamison Fawkes & Mei-Ling Zhou, Junkrat | Jamison Fawkes/Roadhog | Mako Rutledge, Roadhog | Mako Rutledge & Aleksandra "Zarya" Zaryanova, Roadhog | Mako Rutledge & Mei-Ling Zhou
Comments: 26
Kudos: 48





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mei is all alone in her dorm, or so she thinks.

Why did the dorms have to be so… quiet?  
Mei felt like she was trespassing when she was alone in the halls. She’d been here for a month already, why should she be nervous just going to the kitchen? She’d always ask her room mate Zarya to make breakfast with her but would scold her the whole time. She didn't mind that so much, it was her way of caring... it was really sweet the way she would reassure her that she belonged there. It was a shared space, be brave, she would say chugging down a morning smoothie. Mei was reluctant to agree, it wasn’t like she had any enemies here, but not as if she had many friends either. 

It was ten o’clock, the lights were out and Mei was just here to make some soup for late night notetaking. Soup and notes in bed with Snowball, boring but cosy. Zarya had texted she would be back after drinks with her coaching team. No big deal, she told herself, taking a deep breath. No one’s going to care about you making soup late at night. She felt a little tickle of embarrassment knowing she’d waited until everyone was out partying just to use the dorm kitchen. 

She wandered through in her pyjamas and slippers. From the other side of the kitchen was a slow, soft clinking. It must have been the tap dripping on a spoon, she thought, she’d report the leaky tap later. Anxiety was still tingling under her skin. She felt so stupid for getting anxious; she was enrolled at one of the top universities in the world, she had already written for top climate science journals, she’d sailed to Antarctica and survived nine years of cryostasis. She could make some soup! She told herself to take a deep breath in and out before she flicked on the light.

By the sink was a tall boy hunched over a mug wearing a AC/DC t-shirt five sizes too big for him. He turned to her. Mei shrieked. The boy was frozen in place, Mei caught her breath and began frantically apologising. Then she realised she was apologising in Mandarin and began apologising for that in English. He just stared back.

It took a second for her to stop talking and recognise him. Oh God, she thought. It was that nasty kid who threw pebbles at the window when he got back drunk at 3am and was locked out. The boy who would sit on his boyfriend’s lap loudly giggling in the common room as they watched the gender reveal party fails on their phone. The guy who set off the fire alarm in the first week because he was fishing out toast from the toaster with his scratched up steel prosthesis. That guy.

“Hi.” He waved back sheepishly, filling the silence after she’d paused talking, “Am-am I in the way…?”  
This couldn’t be that same guy. His voice was stuttering, he was sniffling. His eyes looked red and puffy from tears. And he wouldn’t stop stirring his tea, it was probably getting cold. The other one had a laugh like a weasel and deafened every room he entered. This guy just looked… pathetic.

“Are you okay?” Mei asked.  
“Yeah…?”  
“You don’t seem… okay…?”  
He gulped and shook his head. Fat tears dribbled down his cheeks and suddenly she was wrapped in a crushing hug. He sobbed dramatically into her shirt as her arms hovered awkwardly over his back. She decided to give him a little pat on the head when he’d finally calmed down.

“There there…” She mumbled, “What happened?”  
He started tearily recounting everything, like a toddler with a scraped knee, “Dy’know my boyfriend? He’s the big grumbly fella’. You musta’ seen him, bloody enormous, can’t miss him round’ here. Well he got busted up in an accident pretty bad a few hours back on his chopper, broken leg and all that, but he had a really bad asthma attack and had to stay over night to be observed.” He took a deep jittery breath after talking non-stop, “My boyfriend’s in hospital and-and-and this is my first night away from home alone!” He wailed, swooping into another squeezing hug.

“Oh… Oh dear.” She said smoothing his back cautiously, she had seen a really big fellow hanging around the study area, chewing on pens and silently making notes, but she hadn't really seen his face, “You’ve never been away from home alone?”  
“Nooooooo,” He weeped into her shoulder, “I know that’s pretty sad, right? I wouldn’t have even have accepted the stupid scholarship if Mako hadn’t had gotten in as well…”  
Mei felt herself frown, she couldn’t relate at all. She’d travelled all over China as a teenager, going to ecology conferences and young scientist conventions. She was so excited to go to Ecopoint, she couldn’t imagine not going because she didn’t know anyone. But then again, not everyone was as lucky as her to travel.

He let go of her and awkwardly stood back up to full height, he was such a beanpole he had to pull the huge shirt he was wearing back onto his shoulders as it threatened to slip off altogether, “I-I didn’t mean to dump all that on you… I’m just tipsy.” He paused to hiccough and looked even more embarrassed, “I’ll let you use the kitchen…”  
“No, its okay,” She said, she put on a brave smile, “I haven’t made any real friends here yet… except my roommate. And she can be a bit cold. And I know all about cold, I’m a climatology student.” 

He wheezed, he was bent double and squeaking like a guinea pig. It was a pretty infectious laugh.  
“Aw man, that’s a good one.” He said, wiping after another tear.  
“Don’t lie, that was terrible.” She said with a wry smile.  
“Okay, it was pretty bad, I’m studying engineering, and even I couldn’t patch that one up.” He gave a little badum-tish with his fingers and she burst out laughing as he beamed at her with a gap toothed smile.  
They swapped puns for a while before the boy settled on the kitchen table and sipped his boozed up sweet tea. Mei almost forgot about heating up the soup but he managed to help, turns out his busted old metal arm had a built in tin-opener of all things.

“So you study engineering?”  
“Study is a strong word…” He snorted, “I’m doin’ my best but it's hard to pay attention to all this robotics stuff, and the physics stuff, and the measuring and the numbers… I just wanna’ get my hands on some real machines, y’know? Take it all apart, and put it back together again into something new. Really get my hands-- well, hand, dirty!”  
“Oh, so you’re more of an artist then?” She asked.  
He paused for a moment and crinkled his brow, “No one’s ever called me that before, but… Yeah! I guess you’re right! I’m an artist!” He slammed his mug down, letting the tea spill with a plop. It seems the boy didn't have much of an inside voice.  
She shrugged, “Every science is an art when you put your mind to it.”  
“Even clima-matology?” He said, tilting his head. She opened her mouth and closed it again, she didn’t have the heart to correct him.  
“I think so, its all about recording data and organising it into something that we can all understand and use to help humanity, its just about interpreting what the data says. It all comes together in one big picture...”  
“That’s so cool.” He grinned, “If I ever find any data, I’ll bring it straight to you-- uh, what was your name again?”  
“Mei-Ling Zhou.” She smiled, holding out her hand.  
He took and shook it hard with both hands, “I’m Jamie! Jamison Fawkes!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie gets a makeover, Mei is a big ol gay.

Mei didn’t really expect the boy who had caused so much chaos in the dorms to be sitting on her bed trying to stay still long enough to have his nails painted. She had invited him into her room the night after, Mako was still being observed and possibly needed surgery. Mei had watched him mope around the dorms all day in XXXL pyjamas and had taken pity on him. The other night when she had seen him in the kitchen, he’d mentioned something about playing with his Boyfriend’s hair when he was sad and offered to give him a makeover. 

She wasn’t great at it, but it seemed to distract him from checking his phone and sighing every three minutes. His mood bounced all over the place; happy, sad, irrationally ticked off at something before instantly forgetting it and smiling again. He’d change subjects at breakneck speed, she found him fascinating but she didn’t try to keep up with him. It was exhausting but she didn’t mind, it was nice not to have to make small talk. She just listened, nodding and asking questions every now and then. 

“--and that’s why I hate prawns.” He finished his meandering story with a little flourish of his spare hand. She had to admit she had no clue where that conclusion came from.  
He took a breather to check his phone with his other hand, he frowned as the blue light cast over his face, highlighting the dark circles under his hooded eyes.  
“Jamie, you can’t keep checking it all night, I’m sure, your boyfriend uhh--”  
“Mako!” He chirped.  
“I’m sure Mako just needs his sleep…” She said, putting the finishing touches on his little finger with some sequins. She’d chosen little snowflakes to match his glittery blue finger tips.  
“You’re right, but,” He paused to chew his lip, “I'm sorry. I can’t stop thinkin’ about him, when he’s with me my brain feels nice and quiet, it's probably because of the whole not being able to think about anything else when he's away.”  
“Don’t apologise.” She said, sticking her tongue out.  
“Not sorry for being sorry.” He said, poking his tongue right back.

“Tell me about him, and I’ll give you some pig-tails.”  
He looked like a kid on Christmas morning as he scooted around and hunched over to allow her to begin brushing out his hair. He was so tall she had to get up on her knees to reach his head.

“Well, we’ve been mates since we were kids… Kinda’. He left to go live on his Da’s farm when he was thirteen, I didn’t see him the whole time but we sent each other letter. He came back just before I got out of high school. He had a hell of a growth spurt, he’d gotten all handsome and stoic and his voice had dropped like an anvil… Hooley dooley.” He swooned,  
“We spent a Summer fixin’ up his chopper. Then one day we were holdin’ hands in the park, neckin’ behind a tree, mindin’ our own business, y’know? This mate of his comes up and starts hasslin’ me for bein’ a queer, and he hopped up and gave him a black eye. Then he asked me out on the spot. We've been together ever since… I still got the scar on my knuckle from where I chipped that lad’s tooth!” He grinned, pointing it out on the back of his hand. His skin was criss-crossed with pale scars, she thought they might be cuts from working with his hands, she started to doubt that.

“That’s… romantic.” She tried to hide her grimace.  
“Don’t you worry, I ain’t as scrappy as I was when I was teen. But if anyone ever gives you any flack, come and see me, I’ll see to em’, mate.” He had tried to sound threatening, although that was a challenge when he was hugging a pillow and had closed his eyes to sink into the feeling of his hair being brushed. Mei had never had any girly sleep overs as a kid, she just hoped she wasn't hurting him with all the bed-head tangles he had in his nest of yellow hair. She was extra gentle around the bald patches, they were shiny like he had been burned and she really didn't want to make him wince from pain. He'd been through enough already, it seemed.  
“That’s very sweet, but there’s no need for that, you deliquent.” She gave him a playful bop on the head with the back of the brush. He grinned back cheekily. She wasn't sure why she trusted him enough to attack him, but she wasn't going to question it too much when she was having fun.

“Wanna’ see a pic’ of him?” He grinned, scrolling through his phone.  
She nodded and he held up the phone over his shoulder for her to see him; a grizzled, olive skinned young man lay in a hospital bed, flipping off the camera. He had steely eyes and a double chin; he had matching nicks and scratches across his brow and chin, just like Jamie. She hoped he was less intimidating in person.  
Meanwhile, Jamie was giggling to himself, his cheeks had flushed just from looking at him. He had begun to scroll through his phone for pictures of them together, she noticed a lot of cute pig emojis and flower crown filters. There was one video of them on the back of a huge, old fashioned wheeled motorcycle as they were stopped at an amber light. Jamie's hair was blurred from the wind and Mako looked peeved under his helmet as he tried to concentrate on driving. He couldn’t be that bad if Jamie got so gooey over him.

Mei began taming his hair into bunches as she spoke softly, “He is very handsome.”  
“Hands off, Sheila.” He gave a mock snarl and hugged the phone to his chest.  
“You, uh, don’t have to worry about that, Jamie…” She trailed off, gulping down nerves. She still wasn’t used to admitting she was only attracted to women, it wasn’t that her friends and family didn’t understand, but there was always that fear in the back of her mind. It was a lot easier overseas, it seemed, or at least with Jamie.  
“You gay, then?” He asked, like it was nothing at all, “You got your eye on any of the girlies in our dorm? That Moira in block B is a right stunner, even if she hates my guts… Or what about that European med-chem tutor who hangs out with the green haired guy?! Eh? Eh? Has Mei got anyone on the ol’ radar?!” He nudged her ribs with his bony elbow until she batted him away.

“You are too much, Jamie.” She tugged on his hair to get him to sit still again, “No. I am here to study.”  
“Aw, all them girls are gonna’ be so disappointed…” He sighed wistfully.  
“They can’t miss what they never had.” She grunted, working out another tangle with her fingers, “Besides, even if I do have my eye on someone… I don’t think I’m their type.” Her voice mumbled into a whisper as she ended the sentence.  
“Oi, oi, don’t say that! Can’t give up before you’ve started, love!” He said, trying to angle his head to look at her, unsuccessfully, “Who’s the lucky girl?!”  
“She’s… my room-mate.”  
“Oooooooh…?!” The noise he made was curious and devious. She was tempted to smack him with the brush again to shut him up.

Mei wanted to bury her head in her hands. She couldn't quite it explain it, yet the whole situation felt so fraught with potential disaster. She couldn’t believe her eyes when the girl who’d helped her hauled her suitcase full of cold weather gear down the hall was the one she’d be living with in the twin room. She was practically a marble statue; she was tall and strong, but her pink hair was adorable. Her rich voice thrummed with her heady accent. When she had told Mei her beautiful name and asked her to call her Zarya she had almost fainted on the spot. That was half the reason they hadn't had many conversations together, Mei couldn't cope with her scrambled brain in their little chats before class. But whenever they talked, it was perfect. Zarya was kind, helpful and always encouraging her to do her best. She'd come back from the gym still damp from the showers and smelling like heavy-duty deodorant, she'd make them both a huge meal and spend the evening reading Chekov for her literature minor. She burned with a startling passion with every little thing she did. Mei had been trying to ignore it from the very beginning, but it was like Jamie had said, her mind was no longer quiet when she was not around.

“Her name is Zarya. She is a sport education student… and she’s perfect.” She groaned, “It's not fair! She’s my roommate and I can’t even say three words to her without dying of embarrassment!”  
“That’s rough, mate.” Jamie said, “But three words is enough to ask her out, surely? D’ya want me to help?”  
“No, its just… I like her but she’s very… direct.”  
“Direct?” He asked, tilting his head.  
“She doesn’t suffer fools gladly.”  
“You what now?” Jamie looked even more confused than when he first asked.  
She sighed, “If she says no… it will be VERY awkward living with her…”  
“Oh mate, that won’t happen! You’re so nice, I bet she’d love to wear your thighs as ear muffs!”  
“JAMIE.” She thwacked him again on the back before turning bright red.  
“Alright, alright,” He giggled, “Besides, if she says no, and she’s all weird or rude or whatever, set me on her and I’ll sort her out proper.”  
“No you won’t.” She snorted. Zarya could easily snap him in half over her knee, she mused to herself, and she blushed at the thought of her lifting someone like they were nothing before returning to the task at hand.

Finally, she’d gotten him to stop fidgeting long enough to give him lopsided pigtails, he shook his head immediately to flop them around. Mei thought he looked like a freaky looking bunny rabbit. He snapped a photo of them both, Mei balanced her chin on his shoulder as he took it. He began sending it to Mako, gleefully adding a hundred emojis to the message.

“I have always wanted blonde hair.” She chuckled, “You’re very lucky.”  
“It’d be nicer if I took care of it and stopped frying it with the drier', it's the only way to stop it going haywire… never mind that one time I set it on fire--”

He was interrupted by the door latching open and Zarya shuffling in and yanking off her coat.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zarya's home and uh oh, she's being gay.

Zarya wasn’t drunk, she’d only had two beers at the weekly Phys-Ed meet at the bar, she could barely feel a tickle. And yet there was her room mate, who was barely able to string two sentences together out of shyness, wrapped around a man with Pippi Longstocking pigtails on her polar bear bedspread. 

She blinked at them. Maybe she wasn’t drunk, was Mei drunk?  
“Privet.” She stated.  
“Zarya!” Mei scrambled off the bed, and gestured to the boy who was sitting cross legged and gently blowing on his pink and blue nails, “This is my new friend, Jamie!”

Mei had a smile she hadn’t seen before, or perhaps she hadn’t noticed. She cleared her throat to keep her breath from hitching, it was so cute. Zarya felt that feeling sink deep into her as she took a closer look at her new friend, or whatever he was. 

“Hello Jamie.”  
“Nice to meet cha’, darlin’.” he grinned, shaking her hand with a rickety prosthetic, it felt like it needed a wipe down. That, and a new coat of paint.  
“Likewise…”  
He was wearing too-large Pyjamas and had a self-satisfied smile. She didn’t get the feeling she had interrupted anything untoward, Mei wasn’t the type to do that in the first place… not that it was her business what Mei did. She was just concerned, she told herself, especially with this scrawny boy who looked like he’d not showered in days.

He leaned to the side to mumble in Mei’s ear, “She’s lookin’ at me like she’s sizin’ me up…” It wasn’t as subtle as he obviously thought it was.  
Mei chuckled, “That’s just how she looks at you.”

Zarya had taken a few blows in kick-boxing today, especially from that Swedish girl with the ginger hair, but that hurt. Who knew Mei could pack such a punch without even trying?  
She glowered back at Mei, “My face is just tired.”  
She smiled softly, “I didn’t mean it like that, though, you were a little scary when I first met you.”  
“She ain’t scary,” Jamie joined in, “Just worried she was going to eat me. It's a legitimate concern, after all, I am a snack.”  
Mei laughed as Zarya perched on the edge of her own neatly made bed. She shoved her hands in her track-bottoms pockets and tried to keep herself from fidgeting with the locker token and bus tickets in there. She took a few deep breaths to soothe the urge to strangle him. She’d never made her laugh like that before, but this idiot could.

“I shall not eat you.” She replied, her voice was dry and flat, “What do I owe the pleasure…?”  
“Mei invited me over for a makeover.” He fluttered his nails, “Wanna’ join in?”  
Zarya racked her useless, tipsy brain for euphemisms, she was pretty sure that meant what she thought it meant, but English still managed to out-fox her now and then. Mei’s face looked red as she looked between them as if she wished Jamie hadn’t said it.

The idea of Mei painting her nails was delightful, but sadly she had applied her gels just yesterday evening, “I shall decline, perhaps next time.” She sighed.  
“You still wanna’ do facemasks?” He asked, “What about you, do you need your pores tightened, love?”  
“What did you say?”  
Zarya stood up to glare at him from above as he held up the packaging to defend himself: charcoal and aloe pore tightening face mask.  
Her cheeks burned and Mei looked taken back at her rush of movement, “Oh. Apologies. My English--”  
He snorted, “No worries, I’m gonna’ be usin’ that pick up line in future, though.”  
Please don’t, she thought.  
Mei looked between them and smiled, “It's kinda’ late Jamie, maybe we can see each other on Friday?”  
“Friday it is.” He chirped, grabbing his phone and wriggling off the bed, he slipped through the door with a wave, “Thanks for the TLC, be seein’ ya.” 

Zarya felt like she’d dropped a weight to the mat as soon as he left and let out a little huff of relief, “I am glad you have made… friend.”   
“Jamie is the best.” She said, tidying away all the cosmetics on her duvet, “He’s a handful, but he’s really fun to be around!”  
“I can see that.” She said with a half smile, “I knew you would make friends, believe in yourself!”  
She could hear Mei chuckle as she put the nail polish back in the ensuite bathroom, “You are too sweet, Zarya.” Mei seemed like her own weight was lifted off her shoulders now, she was much less awkward. Maybe Jamie was a good influence, despite the first impression.

Mei snuggled into her bed as Zarya went to freshen up for the night, changing her workout vest for her Russian Junior Olympian team building shirt. When she came back Mei was checking on Snowball who was charging peacefully next to her bedside table. Zarya had thanked her lucky stars that her roommate preferred sleeping early and quiet nights in, it was essential for her training that she get a full eight hours. A pang of worry sprang in her mind; she hoped this Jamie boy wasn’t going to change that…

“Zarya? Can I turn off the light?” Mei yawned.  
“Da. Goodnight.” She said, snapping out of her thoughts and rolling over to face the wall and her multiple motivational posters.   
She lay on her back as she listened to Mei curl into a ball, there was a tiny rustling of sound from the other side of the room as Mei put on some soothing sounds and music for herself from her phone. It was barely above a whisper and Zarya had begun to enjoy it herself. Tonight it was a hush of wind and rain pitter-pattering against a glass window, Mei’s soft breaths evened out as she drifted to sleep.

Zarya stared into the wall. She couldn’t keep doing this, she had to pluck up courage at some point, soon it may be too late...


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mei decides to bribe Jamie with tea to help fix Snowball's charger, emotions ensue.
> 
> (I loved writing this so much oh my god)
> 
> Credit to Scrunchles for inspiring the text chat with Mako and Jamison.

There was a knock at his door when he heard the door handle click inwards.  
“Oi, oi, here comes trouble.” he grinned, lying back on the bed.  
Mei shuffled in with some difficulty; she was carrying a six pack of canned milk tea in one arm and Snowball’s charging station in the other. Snowball was floating behind her, the little bot fussing out of concern for dropping everything.  
He craned his neck and began to scoot off the bed to help her carry it all. He’d already taken off his arm and leg, so he wasn’t going to be much help as he hopped across the floor, but he could take the tea from her at least. Maybe pop one open whilst he was at it.

He scrunched up his face looking at Mei’s uncharacteristically huge smile, before inspecting the canned tea in his hand and Snowball’s charging station.  
“This is a bribe, isn’t it?” He groaned.  
“Maybe…” She said, her big smile wobbling slightly, “I just thought, since I know that you’re a very smart and talented Engineering student--”  
“And handsome.”  
“And handsome!” She added, “That you might help me fix Snowball’s charging issue…?”  
“Have you tried turnin’ him on and off again?” He said sarcastically, getting back to his comfy spot on the bed as he dragged the charging station with him. It was a small metal unit with a lot of fiddly screws, he’d have to use the smallest screw drivers he had on hand. Snowball was a very fancy piece of tech, which meant taking his equipment apart was going to be a pain in the arse.

“I think one of the pins is bent on the socket.” She pointed to the pad that Snowball would fit into when he charged or inputted data.  
Jamie rattled it around in his hand and held it up to his eye as Snowball floated over his shoulder with curiosity. He wasn’t hugely fond of the little tin-can, but he obviously meant a lot to Mei so he could tolerate him.  
“I’ll see what I can do.” He sighed, “Gimme’ a warnin’ next time, can’t just expect me to drop everything for your jumped-up flying colander.”

Mei had made a habit of dropping around in the evenings when they were both free for the last two weeks; he was fine with that, even if she was a bit clingy. Mako was still in the hospital for knee surgery but was due home soon, so Jamie craved the company. She preferred to go to his room, even if it was a pig-sty, due to the massive bed. 

Well, technically, it wasn’t one bed. During the first week Mako and Jamie had shoved the two bedframes together and bound the feet together with zip ties. The gap in the middle had been filled with a rolled up fleece blanket. Three duvets covered the sheets, one was stolen from a lost and found cupboard, another was yellow with smiley faces all over and the extra large one was covered in Pachimaris.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you.” Mei said, clasping her hands together as she jumped on the bed. She began gathering up a blanket and making a nest besides him. His laptop was in front of him playing hours worth of vine compilations, on the other side was an engineering textbook that had been scribbled in all over the pages.  
“You owe me more bloody tea.” he grumbled, trying to keep his smile off his face, “I had plans tonight.”  
“I hope you’re not talking about those picture Mako sent--”  
“No! I was gonna’ try and make some notes tonight, do that trick you taught me with the paragraphs in my reading, where you read the first sentence and skip the rest.” He looked accusingly at her, “You’ve got a dirty mind, for shame!”

A pillow flopped lazily across the back of his head. Jamie went on a mock tirade about having guests attack him in his own room, how he’d been nothing but a saint to her and now she was giving him lip whilst fixing up her glorified tamagotchi with only one arm and how she was basically bullying him.

“I don’t know how you can look at yourself in the mirror...” He shook his head like a disappointed parent.  
She was giggling behind her hand breathlessly. He loved making Mei laugh, he could never make any of his classmates laugh. Except for Hana, but that was only when he’d been thoroughly trounced at mario-kart last week and done his spot-on impression of Waluigi flying head first off Rainbow road. 

“Seriously, Jamie, you’re a lifesaver.” She hummed.  
Snowball had come to hover in her lap to receive little pets across his domed top, he was pretty sure he couldn’t feel the little scritches she was giving him, but the little drone seemed to appreciate the gesture.  
“I’m just doin’ a bit of percussive maintenance.” He grunted, he had a few screws pinched between his lips as he attempted to wrangle some wires back into place before adjusting the socket pins.

“I don’t know what I’d do without him.” She said, mostly to herself, “He helps me with my work, and my data collection in the field, he reminds me to take my medication… I’d do anything for him.”  
Jamie nodded, only half listening as he focused on his one-handed unscrewing. Mei’s voice sounded soft, she only seemed to be focused on tracing her fingers around his shiny top. His screen eyes became flat with affection.

“Sounds like you’d go through a lot of trouble for the little blighter.”  
Mei paused for a long while before replying, “He saved my life, once.”  
Jamie looked up from what he was doing and turned towards her, he opened his mouth to speak but felt a pang that he should perhaps just stop and listen instead, for once.

And then Mei told him the story. He paused whatever was on the laptop and watched her trace her fingers over Snowball as she recounted what had happened at Ecopoint. Four friends. Lost. She had to abandon their bodies and trek in deadly conditions alone to the nearest spot of civilization. She was only eighteen, she’d had almost ten years of her life stolen away from her. No wonder she was so anxious all the time, no wonder she couldn’t handle using a kitchen by herself, no wonder she hated being alone.

Jamie said nothing and shuffled forward, wrapping her in the best hug he could give with one arm and a hovering robot squished between them. He felt her sniffling on his shoulder and pulled her closer.  
“I guess you owe me a snotty shirt after that first meeting, eh?”  
She laughed and sobbed at the same time, “I’m sorry…”  
“Its okay, mate, it can’t be easy livin’ with that on your shoulders, I’m here for ya’.”

They sat there together for a few minutes; Mei must not have told a soul at college about her past until now. It was a hell of a thing to keep bottled up, he thought. He glanced at his stump on Mei’s back, he knew all about that. He didn’t keep secrets anymore, he just didn’t feel the story was worth telling if it made people look at him funny. Mei wasn’t like that, but that was for another time. The weight of her crushed on his shoulder set off the urge to check his phone for texts from Mako. He put his temple to her back and sighed, thankful she was so clingy tonight.

After a while, he finished up with his pliers and realigned the pin; it wasn’t a permanent solution, but it would work until Mei could get a replacement. He saved his work and dumped his textbook off the bed as Mei scrunched up to him. He lay back against the pile of pillows and began to flick through movies for them to watch, he’d accepted no work was getting done tonight and was happy to give up.  
“I’ll be your body pillow for now, but only until mine comes back from hospital.”  
“Uh huh.” She nodded, snoozing on him with still-wet eyelashes.

Jamie was only half paying attention as Mei snoozed away on him under the duvet, he had to admit, he missed having someone in bed. Even if she had cold hands. His phone buzzed and he checked the time, it was half midnight and Mako had just texted him. There was a picture of his leg cast with a pink sharpie scribble of a rat near the knee. He sucked in a breath through his teeth, it was too cute to handle.

_My Big Lug™  
Eta tomorrow mornin, can you come wait for me at the stop?_

_Professional Rat Bastard  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
YES FINALLY  
HES COMIN HOME  
NOT A DRILL LADS  
HOG DADDYS BACK  
you couldn’t stop me m8_

_My Big Lug™  
That’s real gay, rat_

_Professional Rat Bastard  
<3 <3 <3 <3 i’m gonna jump ur fuckin bones_

_My Big Lug™  
Not with my fucked leg_

_Professional Rat Bastard  
Can i just hump your leg?_

_The Big Lug™  
No._

_Professional Rat Bastard  
Love u too <3 <3 <3_

_The Big Lug™  
Love you. Get some sleep. x_

He sent back a gif of a chubby dumbo-earred rat stretching and curling up in a fuzzy blanket and before slapping his phone down on the bedside table and wriggling with excitement.

“Mako’s back tomorrow! Mako’s back tomorrow!” He trilled in a little song, and then found himself yawning. He looked down for Mei’s reaction; she was conked out, snuggled up on his tummy and dead to the world. Looking at the time he better wake up Mei and get her back to her own room.

“You better leave or I’ll wake up with a strictly platonic stiffy.” He mumbled, kicking the laptop to the end of the bed. It fell to the floor with a clunk, it was an old, tough thing, it’d be fine.  
“I don’t want to wake up Zarya.” She said, nuzzling into his arm, ignoring him.  
“Misery-guts will be delighted to see you.” He said, trying to pull his stump away from her grasp.  
“...I don’t want to sleep alone.”  
Jamie took a deep breath in and slumped his right elbow around her shoulder, “Stay then.”

With a click of the lights, he pulled the blankets over and began to dream about how sweet the morning was going to be…


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uh oh Mei and Zarya are both oblivious idiots
> 
> Song is All Guns Blazing by Judas Priest.  
> You cannot convince me that Jamie doesn't live off caffeine and thrash metal alone.

_“TWISTING THE STRANGLE GRIP  
WON’T GIVE NO MERCY--  
FEELING THOSE TENDONS RIP  
TORN UP AND MEAN!!”_

The noise coming from Jamie’s phone screeched out a thrashing guitar riff through popped speakers. Mei bolted upright, her heart flipping from the shock. She looked around the room to remind herself where she was; there was a bi-flag hanging from the wall and piles of what looked like fuses, springs and transistors on the bedside table from where the phone was blasting out metal. 

Of course, she’d fell asleep in Jamie’s room. With a groan, Jamie emerged from under his mountain of blankets. His hair was tufted in every direction and there was dried spit on the side of his mouth. He slapped the phone on his bedside table to make it snooze and crawled back under the duvet.

“Morning, Jamie.” She said, pulling herself from the bed, she wasn’t going back to sleep after that alarm, how on earth did anyone survive after waking up to that?!  
“Morn.” He slurred, not bothering to get out from his comfortable spot.  
She snorted, maybe he needed all the help he could get waking up.

It was Saturday, 9:30am, a little later than she’d usually get up but it wasn’t as if she had anything to do, aside from holing up in the library with her Meteorology essay.  
“Thank you for letting me stay, Jamie, you are such a good friend.” She reached under the duvet and mussed his hair before rolling out of bed.  
She only caught a few muffled words of complaint and protest before he finally sat up and stretched, “You’re welcome. Now fuckin’... get out… need a lie in.”  
“Haven’t you got any plans? It's a lovely day.” She asked, grabbing a canned tea from his stash and petting Snowball to rouse him from his stand-by mode. He hissed as she yanked open his curtains to let the light in.

He sat there for a few seconds, rolling out the crick from his neck when he stopped and thought about what she had said.  
“FUCKIN’ FUCK SHIT FUCK.”  
He vaulted off the bed. Jamie slammed into his bathroom and began scrubbing his teeth and pulling back his hair into a scruffy ponytail. She heard frantic giggling from the en-suite as he crashed around. Mei didn’t even get a chance to watch him jump out his pyjamas and into his ripped jeans, he was dressed in a flash. He was pulling on his peg-leg as he hopped out the door with the biggest grin she’d ever seen.  
“MAKO’S BACK. GOTTA’ GO. HOOROO.”

He was gone before she even got to say goodbye. She laughed and walked out the door, she’d carry back the charging station later as it was a little heavy and she didn’t have Jamie to help. Snowball had spent the night perched on it and was now fully charged once more. She opened the door into the hall and watched him zoom away with boundless energy back to their room around the corner.

She walked out of the room and began to brush her hair with her fingers, humming to herself. She’d slept so well, she’d have to buy Jamie more tea for letting her crash. 

“Mei?”  
She paused as she stood outside Jamie’s door, there was Zarya.

***

Zarya thought she had managed to salvage a bad day into an okay one, Mei walking out of Jamie’s door in her pyjamas killed it dead. When she hadn’t answered her texts last night about when she was getting back she felt like her heart was going to have a hernia. She’d stamped the feelings down, she was only her room mate after all, she didn’t owe Zarya her every waking move. She had spent the morning at the gym distracting herself, trying to rationalise that everything was fine and Mei’s business was her own. She’d warmed down and done her stretches and finally began to feel chilled out, but now her whole chest felt like it was going to implode in on itself.

She needed to keep it together, she’d only come back to pick up some boxing pads from Brigitte down the hall before she was due to train with Gabe in town. It would be a quick, painless chat and she could distract herself with more of a work out.

“Good morning.” She barked, she coughed and tried to speak more calmly, “I, uh, mean good morning. Mei. My good friend Mei.”  
You are so un-smooth, she thought. She was desperately telling herself to act natural, to wave, or say something else, or even blink. She was frozen.  
“Ah, good morning, Zarya! Sorry I didn’t text you back, I got really distracted last night.”

She was blushing and pulling at the chest of her pyjama top. Zarya was going to use that man for shot-put practise. She was going to shank him with a javelin. She was going to kick him so hard he’d shit out his own teeth. She took a deep breath and tried to conjure a sentence into her mouth that didn’t make her look like she was having murder fantasies. She’d known the woman for a month, she chastised herself, a mere month! 

“Did you have fun?”  
Zarya was going to pull out her own tongue for betraying her so cruelly. It didn’t even sound like a statement, it sounded like an accusation. She wished for once her accent wasn’t so monotone.  
Mei smiled, “Me and Jamie spent the whole night together, he’s the best. I got really lucky with him.”

 _Pizdets_ , her brain crawled to a halt. She didn't want to think about what must have happened. She could feel her face burning, she had to make up an excuse and get out of there.  
“Aha! I am glad for you, Mei, you are a, uhhhhh, go-getter! You have a good man there! I am so happy for you!”  
“You’re right!” Mei skipped past her down the hall and waved at her, “I’ll see you later, I’m going to get dressed and head to the library.”  
“Okay…” Zarya mouthed as she watched her disappear around the corner.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mako comes back from the hospital, and Zarya has a breakdown.

Mako liked it when Jamie cuddled with him on the bus, Mako didn’t like it when he would rub his paws on his belly like he was eight months pregnant.  
“Can you not.”  
“Missed you…” He hummed, trying to wedge himself into his armpit, it was as if he couldn’t get close enough, even with his unwashed hospital stink he burrowed into him.  
Mako smiled down at him, he couldn’t stay mad at the idiot. He didn’t have the words to admit it but it was hell being in a foreign hospital where the nurses complained within earshot about his fat ass. He’d told Jamie to stop visiting because he had class during visiting hours on his ward, which hurt for both of them. But with his cast, his Rat would have him all to himself. A blessing and a curse, he chuckled to himself.

With Jamie conked out under his arm he checked his phone after the ring tone oinked at him.

_Big Fuzzy Russian Arms Dealer ʕ •ᴥ• ʔ  
You are back today? I hope you’re in less pain. Xx_

It was his gym buddy. This Russian chick who was dominating the international championships, they’d been chatting online for about two years when they realised they were going to the same college. Turns out Zarya’s hair was even pinker in real life and she was relentless about her squats record. They only met up each morning to work out, she always arrived first and he always got them breakfast afterwards. Mako wasn’t the competitive type, but he was the only one willing to try and keep up with her in the mornings.

_Left Meat Hook  
Ye I’m out.  
Finally dragged me away from the morphine… Take me back._

_Big Fuzzy Russian Arms Dealer ʕ •ᴥ• ʔ  
Suck it up. xx_

_Left Meat Hook  
I’m going to be in this thing for a month more, at least._

_Big Fuzzy Russian Arms Dealer ʕ •ᴥ• ʔ  
Then hold onto the pain, because Zarya is going to make you feel sore as hell when you recover!! xxoxoxox_

_Left Meat Hook  
Zarya you can’t say that I have a boyfriend._

_Big Fuzzy Russian Arms Dealer ʕ •ᴥ• ʔ  
He probably can’t do shit about it (¬‿¬ )_

_Left Meat Hook  
lol no he can’t  
he’s a pathetic toothpick but I love him_

_Big Fuzzy Russian Arms Dealer ʕ •ᴥ• ʔ  
Awwwwwwwww!! Xox  
I need to meet him this amazing tiny man who can handle the guy who broke the rowing machine chain on his first day in the gym, must be tough guy!! x  
Speaking of love  
I don’t know who else to tell this to but I am also in pain_

_Left Meat Hook  
He’s a keeper for sure  
You ok?_

_Big Fuzzy Russian Arms Dealer ʕ •ᴥ• ʔ  
You tell this to no one._

He creased his brow and leaned forward, as he did Jamie slipped out of his grasp and snuggled into his belly instead. He steadied him before going back to his phone. Zarya didn’t usually bring up personal stuff. She got testy about her competitions or if she saw someone who didn’t bring a towel to the gym. But it was all about her reps and how many eggs she was eating, he’d never even seen her in anything but a track suit or a competing uniform.

_Left Meat Hook  
Ofc no worries_

There was a long pause between her next message, sometimes Zarya would get a bit overwhelmed and need to vent about silly little things but he had a gut feeling this was different.

_Big Fuzzy Russian Arms Dealer ʕ •ᴥ• ʔ  
I have a big dumb crush on my room mate and she’s doing things with this idiot who keeps being a nuissance in the dorm and last week he almost broke the vending machine in the lobby trying to shake it for more drinks and he’s stupid and i hate him and shes so nice and perfect and cute??? and hes basically a sewer rat and I am going to put my fist into his face forever_

There was another pause before she added: 

_Big Fuzzy Russian Arms Dealer ʕ •ᴥ• ʔ  
( ╯°□°)╯ ┻━━┻_

_Left Meat Hook  
You done?_

_Big Fuzzy Russian Arms Dealer ʕ •ᴥ• ʔ  
yeah_

_Left Meat Hook  
damn  
He’s in your dorm?_

_Big Fuzzy Russian Arms Dealer ʕ •ᴥ• ʔ  
Yes and this morning she came out of his room (TT-TT)_

_Left Meat Hook  
That sucks_

_Big Fuzzy Russian Arms Dealer ʕ •ᴥ• ʔ  
And now I don’t know what to do?? She’s a smart girl but he seems like a sleazebag and I don’t want her to get hurt_

_Left Meat Hook  
I could “talk” to him_

_Big Fuzzy Russian Arms Dealer ʕ •ᴥ• ʔ  
No I need to handle this I just don’t know what to do, or if I should just leave it be. She seems really happy… But I’m worried for her._

_Left Meat Hook  
You’re a good friend Z  
also a gay disaster  
Just watch her back for her  
Are they dating?_

_Big Fuzzy Russian Arms Dealer ʕ •ᴥ• ʔ  
I am too scared to ask… (>_<)_

_Left Meat Hook  
Just ask her about him, can’t jump to conclusions._

_Big Fuzzy Russian Arms Dealer ʕ •ᴥ• ʔ  
Okay. I can do this!!  
I’ll report back when I know more._

_Left Meat Hook  
Hell yeah_

***

They got off a few stops early at the park. Mako had been on watch the first two days after his cast so he was free to spend time on his crutches. He was a little woozy still but after two weeks stuffed up in a ward, he was desperate to enjoy the Autumn air. They took a half lap around the park nearest their halls before Jamie insisted he sit to rest.

“I’m fine.” He grunted, “I need the exercise, and I need to get used to these damn things.” He propped the crutches next to him with a huff, they weren’t easy to get around on with his size.  
“Oh you’ll be fine, but you’re leg’ll be fucked if you don’t take it easy.”  
Jamie got up to pace around the bench; he hated being too still for too long. Usually Mako would hunker down somewhere as Rat skipped around or tore up dry weeds or did cartwheels in the summer. Mako didn’t mind listening to him stir his boot around in the leaves, or watching his scarf and long, crusty coat flap in the crisp wind. He was happy to stare at his Rat all day long.

“I’m gonna’ gnaw my leg off if I can’t get some decent exercise in soon.” He sighed, getting tired from just watching Jamie jump about in the leaves, “My gym buddy’s already on my case.”  
He wiggled his eyebrows back at him, a tooth hooked over his lip as he grinned, “That’s how I lost my leg, Hog, don’t you joke about that.”

Hog-ass and Rat-face. Nicknames they’d stolen from school bullies as sweet little names for each other. It was rather convenient as Mako loved pigs and Jamie loved rats. They’d send each other twee little pictures from cutesy pet facebook groups; teacup pigs and those rats with the massive ears. That’s how they ended conversations if they got into a row, or they were too sleepy to reply. It was how Jamie would dodge questions about what happened to his arm and leg. 

Mako respected whatever ridiculous scenario Jamie gave him; shark attack, owing money to the Australian mob, his limbs running away to the circus… He’d heard it all. All he really knew was that he lost it sometime between the four years he was away living with his dad. No skin off his back, he’d tell him one day. Or never. Half his friends had lost limbs, fingers or had gone deaf or blind from the aftermath of the wars. Jamie’s case was just a bit more severe. It was just nice to watch him roaming around in the leaves, nice to live in a place with plenty of running water and living things around them. He’d never seen Jamie on green grass before, he wondered if it was all too good to be true.

“You spacin’ out, mate?” Jamie asked, “Thinkin’ about home?” kicking up a flurry of red maple leaves, giggling as they fluttered down around him.  
He stayed silent, he was always fascinated by Jamie’s ability to read his face. He gave a little nod.  
“I know you ain’t homesick for that shit hole...” He griped, crushing a particularly crunchy leaf under his peg-leg.  
“No.”  
“C’mon, I know that’s the face you make when you’re frettin’ about something or other, let's get you home and Dr. Boom’ll give you a sponge bath.”

He let out a hefty laugh. Only Jamie could make him laugh so hard he snorted, only Jamie could tell his resting bitch face from his overthinking face, and not even he could tell when he was worrying about nothing when Jamie could.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mei and Zarya have lunch together, and get interrupted.

The light from her screen and the hum of the fluorescent bulbs above her were giving Mei a headache. She’d managed to send off her essay and begin her presentation for next Tuesday, yet she was tempted to stay and make some flash cards or read up on the paper her professor had suggested to her last week. Maybe she could print off the paper now and make the trek to the lecture building to hand it in early, it wasn’t due for two weeks but still niggled at the back of her mind. The first semester was always extra tough to weed out anyone not fit for the course, and of course it was the longest one, too. She rubbed her temples, she never felt like she was doing enough…  
Her phone made a twinkling sound. She grasped it and mouthed sorry to others studying on tables next to her own, no one seemed to care. She switched it to silent before checking the screen.

_Zarya ʕ •ᴥ• ʔ  
Are you free? Do you want to go for lunch? X_

She tried to type slowly, she didn’t want to come across as too eager. She hadn’t hung out with Zarya in a while, and she seemed somewhat off when they’d met in the morning, so lunch sounded perfect.

_❄ Mei-Ling Zhou ❄  
A quick lunch would be great x_

_Zarya ʕ •ᴥ• ʔ  
Let me know when you’re in town x_

Mei got up and started placing her books and laptop in her bag one-by-one; the rucksack was always overstuffed with her textbooks and the zippers were covered in little fuzzy charms. She clinked as she padded out the library, tip toeing around her fellow students, most of whom were napping on reference books and piles of highlighter pens. She wasn’t going to disturb them if she could help it. College was tough enough as it is.

She took the campus bus to town and set some music on her headphones. Something slow, something to cool her nerves. She tugged the sleeves down on her cardigan over her knuckles as she leaned against the window and sunk into the R&B seeping through the cushioned headphones. Something soulful, something longing… 

She sat up, blinking away the heaviness from her eyelids. It was only a quick drive to her stop, and she’d almost missed it day-dreaming. She pressed the button and skipped off. She waited under a big oak on a bench as she started to text Zarya.

“Privet.” A deep voice rose from behind the bench.  
She jumped, the phone almost jumped out her fingers like a wet bar of soap.  
“Zarya! Sorry! You scared me!”  
“No, I am sorry, it won’t happen again.” She smiled, raising a concerned eyebrow.  
Mei blushed and flapped her hands to wave away the embarrassment, why did her voice have to sound so good?! She was looking good, too. She’d never seen Zarya out of her gym gear, she even slept in old joggers and vests. She was wearing dungarees with sunflowers on the pockets and raglan shirt, it almost looked too comfortable for her to wear. She never pictured her wearing something with flowers on, but she was so glad she was.

“I-It doesn’t matter. Hey! Where should we get lunch?”  
“Hm.” Zarya stood and thought for a moment, “You need protein.”  
“I do?”  
“You did not eat breakfast.”  
“I didn’t, did I?” Mei mused, “I didn’t even notice, I just wanted to make up for waking up late, I suppose.”  
Zarya put a tentative hand on her shoulder, “Well, uhh, you will eat good lunch to make up for it. I will make sure of this!” She asserted, feeling more confident at the end of her sentence.  
Mei laughed, “You don’t have to worry about me…”  
“I do. You are good roommate. My favourite roommate.”  
Mei smiled and tried to get her mouth to keep up with her brain, “You too, Zarya-- I mean, you’re also nice. A nice room mate!”

They wandered through town, making small talk and never quite clicking. Mei frowned to herself, maybe she was talking too much? Or not enough? Maybe she could--

“Careful.”  
Zarya held out her forearm and barred her way, there was a large pot-hole gouged out of the pavement, she would’ve gone flying if she hadn’t been blocked. A few people sidled around Zarya as she directed Mei around it which caused a little queue of pedestrians on the side of the road who were too afraid to muscle her out of the way.  
Mei looked up, “Oh gosh. I am sorry. I was lost in my thoughts--”  
“Is okay.” Zarya gently patted her on the head, whenever she touched her it was always with a little hesitation.  
“Don’t patronise me, come here.” Mei giggled, reaching up to pat her on her head as well.

Zarya laughed, and bent to let her touch her head, too. Her hair was so silky, the kind of silky you only get from freshly dyed hair. Mei was going to lose herself again unless she snapped out of it. Zarya had stooped a little to let her pet it as she realised she had placed her hand there for more than five seconds. She whipped her hand back to her chest and cradled it like she had been burnt and apologised in Mandarin, hoping it would slip under the radar.  
Mei cleared her throat and quickly pointed to distract her,  
“Hey! Um, This cafe’s nice, do you want to try it?”  
“I do not mind where we go as long as you eat.” She stated as she smoothed her hair back down.

They took a seat outside where the last of the Autumn sun was filtering between ornamental trees. Mei got some grilled cheese and a fruit smoothie, Zarya grazed on a burrito. There was a quiet between them that was comfortable but refused to settle. Mei kept flicking through ice-breakers in her mind before she was interrupted by a girl hovering beside the table.

“Scuse’ me, sorry to bother ya’, are you Aleksandra Zaryanova?” The girl asked. She was tall with long legs, she had bright eyes and an adorable accent. Mei shrunk in her seat. She didn’t know why she felt the way she did yet this girl made her feel like a shadow.  
Zarya looked up at her, quickly swallowing her food and giving her a winning grin, “I am her, yes.”  
“Could I have your autograph? I saw you at the International Junior Athletics Event in London last year, it was amazin’, never knew shotput could be so gripping! I never got the chance to ask you then, but I’ve seen you round campus so I thought I’d say hi!”

Zarya laughed, the sound rung around the cafe and people turned to see the brawny, pink haired lady signing an autograph in the back of the girl’s notebook.  
“Thanks Aleksandra! I’m on the track team, so maybe I’ll see you out on the field?”  
“I hope so, Lena! Goodbye!”  
As she waved the british girl away, a few others started to get up and walk towards the table. All eyes were on Zarya, every now and then someone would glance over to her as she tried to finish her sandwich. Great, she thought, everyone’s comparing the chubby girl to the gold medallist. Mei wished she could just disappear in her seat. Zarya grinned a quick apology before signing napkins for the little queue of strangers. She looked a little pained before turning to them with a sharpie in hand.

As they walked away Zarya turned and looked at her with concern. Or, more accurately, looked down at her as Mei had recoiled into her seat.  
“I am so sorry for interruption, Mei. I wanted to spend time with you today and… Nevermind.” She sighed, “It was rude of me.”  
“No, no, no.” Mei said, wriggling back up into her seat, “I just get shy.”  
“I tell you secret. Come closer.” Zarya leaned in and cupped her hand to her mouth, Mei met her half way and felt the heat rise in her face, “I am also shy.”

“Zarya! Don’t lie!” She huffed, leaning back again with folded arms.  
“No, it is true. I don’t like crowds. I don’t like photographs. I especially do not like interviews.” Mei watched as she hunched forward in her seat, she’d never seen her do that before, she always sat up tall and proud, “I just have to pretend so that people don’t think I hate them. My PR coach once said to me, ‘Zarya, you have to not sound like you are planning to strangle person you are talking to’, so now I pretend I am just someone who is a … people person. Yes?”

“That’s got to be really hard.” Mei said, “I cannot imagine having to do that whenever a stranger asks you…”  
“I do it because otherwise people do not know you appreciate them.” She said, lifting her chin, “People work hard to support me. I can smile and sign napkin in return. No big problem.”  
“Now I want an autograph.” Mei gave a half-hearted laugh at her own joke.  
“No.” Zarya answered with a stony face, “You get too much of Zarya. You get her snoring and sweaty gyms clothes and morning bad moods. Zarya wants your autograph.”

Mei stuttered as Zarya pushed a sharpie and a napkin towards her side of the table. She would never complain about any of those things, she thought Zarya was just perfect when she was drinking her coffee and frowning at a poetry book before she started her day. She even thought she smelled pretty great with her pine-scented deoderant and fresh off a run sweaty hair, but there was no way she was going to tell her that...

“There. Will be good practise for when you are famous scientist.”  
“Zarya, please, don’t be silly--”  
Zarya didn’t move the pen and napkin, “Please. You deserve to feel flattened.”  
Mei snorted, trying to dismiss the image in her head, she meekly took the pen from her, “Okay, why not? I am very flattered.”  
Mei poked her tongue out as she concentrated on giving a nice signature on the thin, scrappy tissue. She drew a little snowflake to give it a personal touch.

_‘To Zarya! Thank you for all the support!_  
You are the best x  
周美灵’ 

Zarya gave her more than a winning smile when she handed it over. She pressed it to her chest and beamed, closing her eyes like she was savouring the moment. Mei felt her pulse hop, skip and jump before it finally settled. She loved catching sight of this amazing woman just being herself. Not the steely stares on posters or the triumphant illustrations from sports magazines that others had shoved in her face to sign, just a little slice of joy across her beautiful face.

They spent the afternoon outside the cafe, ordering coffee to keep the waitresses from kicking them out. The shadows of the tree’s leaves passed over their table and soon the sun was low in the sky, lighting up the golden brown leaves above them.

“We need to make this a weekly thing… But only if I get my work done on time.” Mei said, a tinge of concern about not handing in her term paper earlier.  
“You work hard. Too hard. No more work today, you rest and cool off.” Zarya announced, she said it as if it was mandatory.  
“Hmmm… Maybe a little more when I get home--”  
“No.”  
“Zarya, I have so much to do for this presentation--” She laughed.  
Zarya held up a finger and glared back, “Do not make me bench you.”  
“You’re going to lift me?!”  
“No!” Zarya cried, she looked slightly red in the face, “No, I mean, force you to not work, I put substitute in your place. I get someone to sneak into your class and take notes on your behalf.”

Mei threw her head back and laughed long and hard, “I don’t think I’d get away with that, though, sometimes I wish I could swap classes with someone else. Maybe Jamie, his classes sound so interesting and he never seems to pay enough attention!”  
Zarya’s laugh petered out, she cleared her throat before she asked, “Mei. I have question for you--”

The sound of tinny victorious trumpets cut in before she could speak.  
“Ah. Blin. I am late. I am needed at Athletics society meeting.” She got up, shoved her chair into the table and scooped up her bag, “We talk later, yes? Rest up, Myshka.”  
“What did you call me?” She said.  
“I am Russian,” She shrugged back, “You were bound to get cute nickname eventually.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fellas, is it gay to rock your girl to sleep in your arms?
> 
> feat. The Internet -- It Gets Better with Time.  
> Aka. R&B for sapphics.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wW2jXYn3_4Y

Zarya didn’t quite comprehend how she could sweat buckets at the gym and somehow find herself more drained by a meeting about travel arrangements. It was dark out and now all she wanted was to crash onto her mattress and have a well earned rest day tomorrow. She scrunched her brow as she walked into her room, the pressure from her teammates looking to her for all the decisions was mounting. She was only in her first year, just because she’d been competing since thirteen didn’t mean she knew how the trains operated in this country…

“I am home, Myshka, are you--?” She started, bustling into the door with a duffle bag of gym gear and used towels. She was hushed by the sight of her room mate.  
Mei was heaped over her desk in her lounge pants and pyjamas. Her temple was placed against her notes as a pillow, her laptop was playing a lecture on the regeneration of the Ozone layer and there were flashcards littered all over the worktop. She was breathing slowly and deeply. Snowball was settled on her lap, his LED eyes were dimmed out.

Zarya padded towards her desk, scared of moving her panda themed stationary an inch out of place. Obviously, she had to be moved, on the other hand, Zarya refused to wake her up. Mei had ignored her about overworking herself, it stung slightly that she hadn’t listened and chose to wear herself out. Nevertheless, Zarya was going to make sure she had a goodnight’s rest. She supported her thigh and her back and hauled her into her arms.

My god, she thought, she’s soft. Her cheek, her warmth, the jingle of her hairpin, everything was soft. Snowball was still cosied on her tummy, content to be lifted along with it's owner. Mei’s head flopped onto her chest, still cool from leaning on her paper notes. It wasn’t until now she listened to the muffled bass and smooth soprano from her headphones that rested around her neck.

_There's something wrong  
'Cause you seem mighty low  
Tell me what's going on  
Probably been there before…_

_I just hope you know that--  
That it gets better with time...  
I just hope you know that--  
That it gets better with time…_

Gorgeous. The music sounded like a gentle pulse of glimmering synths and mellow riffs. The voice was full of longing and kindness.  
Zarya felt her mind seize up, she shouldn’t be forcing these feelings on a girl sleeping in her arms, her room mate she hadn’t known for even a term, no less! She carried her over to her bed, she was going to be a good roommate, damn it--

“Zarya…”  
She looked down. Mei was looking up at her face.  
“H-hello.”  
“Zarya. You’re carrying me.”  
“I am doing that. You fell asleep on your desk. It is time for bed.”

There was a moment when all Zarya’s burning ears could absorb was the last soothing bars of her music as it filtered through the padded earphones. She stared down at Mei who blinked back before giving her a weary smile.

_I just hope you know that--  
That it gets better with time…_

“Do you like this band…?”  
“Y-yeah. I do now.”  
Zarya felt herself swaying. She didn’t dance. Never. But she couldn’t help it. Mei was sleepily mouthing the words. Zarya let herself rock and nod her head to the slow beat of the song. She hoped this was a thing that friends did together, hold each other and sway to the music.

_I just hope you know that--  
That it gets better with time…_

She chuckled then yawned, “Sorry. I just love this song. I listen to it when it all gets too much…”  
“I like it.” She said. That’s all she could manage to get out her mouth.  
The song ended. A second track bumped out, it had a shuffling hi-hat beat and was less smooth. Zarya stopped, straightened herself before bending her knees to lay Mei down on the bed as quickly as she could manage.

She tried to grin wide and put on her best motivational speaking voice, “Mei, what did I say about rest? You sleep now! Zarya says so!”  
Mei crawled into her blankets and smiled back, her face tinged with guilt, her voice seemed to falter as she spoke; “You’re right, thanks Coach, good night!”

Zarya feigned a laugh. She left the room and dressed down in the bathroom into her sleepwear. She filled the sink with cool water and vigorously patted her face. She needed to get it together, nothing had ever happened to her like that before… It couldn’t happen again.

When Zarya walked back in, Mei was asleep. Her phone was on her bedside table, playing at a whisper. She stole a look at what was playing; the album they'd been swaying to was put on loop. And Zarya thanked her lucky stars before she turned out the light.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mako and Mei finally meet.

The sun streamed through the windows and pop bounced through the speakers and Mei couldn’t think of a thing to say. Mako sat there, nursing an extra large Matcha tea in a domed cup, he had said hi and nodded to answer how he was but that was it. Mei felt like she was struggling to stay afloat, she kept wittering on to herself hoping he’d jump in and reply. Mako just gazed back and mumbled under his breath, Mei didn’t have the courage to ask him to repeat himself. Why did Jamie have to be late?!

The boba place was super cute, with fifties style red and white tiles and bright red booths and a neon clock. Jamie was obsessed with it, his instagram was nothing but colourful flavours in see through cups. He’d give them scores out of ten and little reviews. He liked Honeydew best, apparently, anything milky and half-sweet. Before coming to college all his pictures were of motorcycles and car engines, with one or two videos of him running around what looked like a desert or a scrapyard. She’d seen a few comments on his pictures from Mako, usually just a thumbs up or a heart.

It was Wednesday, her only day with no classes. She hadn’t seen Jamie in half a week, he was busy with caring for Mako. Seems like they had only left their room to go to class and then immediately hurry back to their room. She’d only seen the back of Mako being dragged into their room at the end of the day, hobbling in as Mako scurried around him trying to kiss him all over. She thought it was best not to intrude on them until Jamie had asked her to meet up here to meet him.

Mei wracked her brain, Mako seemed to like those motorcycle pictures...  
“So, Mako, do you study engineering as well?”  
His eyes shifted down, “Yeah.”  
“It sounds like it’s a tough course, Jamie’s text books are huge! Do you both study the same kinds of engineering?” Mei was genuinely curious.  
“Yeah… Um. Mechanical… Non-hovering stuff.” He said shuffling in his seat, Jamie had insisted they save a booth for him but Mako looked as if he had to wedge himself into it. He was six foot eight and the table was cutting into his tummy. It couldn’t have been easy to scoot into it with a cast on his leg, although he hadn’t complained.

Mako was wearing that AC/DC shirt she’d first seen Jamie in weeks ago, his dyed silver hair was in a little bun. He looked relatively tidy compared to Jamie, he just had some stubble all over his cheeks and his shirt was a bit stained. But then again, Jamie was always wearing it…

Mei laughed nervously, “I wonder when Jamie will get here...”  
Mako shrugged as a response.  
There was a minute’s silence before they both spoke at once,  
“I’m sorry, I’m not good at this--”  
“Sorry. I’m no good at this.”

They looked at each other, studying the other for a few seconds before attempting to apologise again. Their words jumbled together as they talked over each other.  
Mako heaved a sigh, “Jinx.”  
Mei laughed, “Guess we’re both not big talkers, huh?”  
“Its cool if you don’t wanna’ talk.” He said, pausing to give her a glimpse of eye contact before looking away again, “I never have much to say.”  
“Neither do I, I just talk a lot regardless. Not as much as Jamie, I guess, but I just blather away when I get nervous… Like I am now.” She said, with a strained chuckle, “Sometimes, when I’m alone I talk to my drone about nothing at all, isn’t that ridiculous?”  
Mako titled his head and peered back at her, “Drones are cool.”  
Mei pulled her satchel slowly onto her lap, “...Do you… want to meet him?”

Mako scooted forward and put his cup aside. For the first time his face had a glimmer of expression to it, which she took as a yes. Mei unzipped the top and lifted Snowball out, who awakened with a shake. She had brought him along to purchase a new charging stand and possibly help compile some graphs in the library later, if she had the time. Mako’s eyes went wide as he floated into the middle of the table and gave a few beeps as a greeting.

“This is Snowball. He’s a fieldwork personal assistant AI, he was developed to work with my team in Antarctica but I got to keep him for … various reasons.” Mei smoothed a hand over his dome and gently encouraged him towards Mako who was hunched over to look at him, “Snowball, this is Mako. I think he wants to be your friend.”  
“I do.” He murmured.

Mako traced his pudgy fingers over Snowball who spun in place for him. He gave appreciative whistles and trills as Mako scooped him up against his chest. Mako seemed to be eyeing the details of his design, the screw placement and the alignment of his jets, but mostly he was stroking him like he was a tiny, fragile animal. 

“Tell me about Antarctica.” He mumbled, his eyes completely fixed on Snowball who was lapping up the attention.  
“Oh! Sure!” Mei grinned, if he was happy to listen, Mei was happy to witter on, “I went when I was seventeen to study long-term Meteorological data as a lab assistant. We were looking at ice-sheet regeneration and storm pattern analysis...” 

She prattled on about data collection, icicles, penguins and whatever sprang to mind. Even if it was a painful time in her life, Mei’s therapist always reminded her to find joy in her experiences there, it helped her heal to recall all the wonderful memories that happened before the tragedy. 

Mako eventually asked her about the animals she saw and was happy to give detailed explanations of the penguins species she met and the time she got close to a fluffy baby seal. He would give furtive nods and hummed as Snowball tried to dig deeper into his arms. He had a small smile on his face that contrasted with his heavy eyelids and furrowed brow. 

“Seals. Cute.” He said.  
“They are so cute! They do this thing where if they’re happy, they’ll lie on their sides and tip their heads and tails up in a curve, it’s called a banana pose!”  
A bellowing, villainous laugh came out of Mako before he wheezed and choked from the effort, “Double cute.”  
Snowball bounced in the nest he’d made in Mako’s arms before deciding to settle again. Mei flinched in place. She hadn’t expected that kind of laugh out of the quiet guy who loved animals and petting robots.

“Don’t mind im’, he has no volume control, do ya’ babe?”  
Jamie hooked his head over the top of the booth with a big cup of Taro milk tea and another Matcha in his hands, he scrambled over to lean against his boyfriend and nuzzle into his shoulder like a needy cat. It seemed to annoy a nearby waitress that he’d put his shoes on the seat covering, but he seemingly got away with it as a favourite customer.

“You’re late.” Mako answered gruffly.  
“I wanted to give you two a chance to have a natter!” He said, he ribbed Mako, “You two behavin’?”  
Mako sipped his drink and nodded, he went back to petting Snowball.  
“Hiya, Jamie.” Mei smiled, “Why were you so late? Are you okay?”

Looking at the clock, Mako had let her talk at him for over an hour. Mei felt a twinge of guilt for not ordering another round of drinks, then again, she didn’t think she would want to be Jamie levels of caffeinated. 

Jamie made a non-committal noise, “Ehhh, I had to go see my lecturer cos’ he said my work wasn’t citated-- or whatever.”  
Mako stared daggers into him, Jamie tried to ignore him before squawking back at him,  
“What?! It was the draft, I didn’t think it needed em’.”  
Mako continued drilling a stare into him as Jamie wriggled in his seat.  
“Alright, yeah, I should’a asked about it. But I didn’t. I’ll do it next time.”  
“Let me help you, Jamie.” Mei offered, “There’s websites that can fill it in for you.”  
“Aw, that’d be sick!” He slurped up his purple drink and grinned, “But first, the goss, how’s you and ya’ room-mate gettin’ along?”

Mako rolled his eyes which Jamie seemed to pick up on like a mind-reader.  
“Oh, alright, I shan’t be nosey.” He stuck his tongue out at him, “Always makin’ sure I mind me manners.”  
Mei frowned and stared into her own half finished tea, “Actually, I’d love some advice, I think I upset her…”

“Oh? What’s up?” He said as he wheedled his way under Mako’s heavy bicep to get closer to him, she had a feeling he was getting a little jealous of Snowball getting all the attention.  
“I have a crush on my roommate, Mako,” She explained, “She’s so amazing, but I don’t want to make things awkward. Well, the other day we went to get lunch--”  
“Go on.” Jamie said slyly, Mako had finally let him into the cuddle and was now multitasking as he patted both her robot and Jamie’s hair.  
“We got lunch and she told me not to overwork myself but when I got home I wanted to write some more notes and listen to this lecture, and I fell asleep on my desk.”  
“You gotta’ learn to take it easy, Mei.” He tutted. Mako nodded alongside him.

“I know, I know. But you see, when I woke up I was in her arms! And then we started dancing slowly to this music I was listening to on my headphones?!”  
“You slow danced?!” He yelled, earning a harder pat on the head from Mako, “That’s, like, extremely gay. Mega gay. She’s into you, mark my words.”  
Mei began going red in the cheeks, not sure what the difference between dancing slowly and slow-dancing really was,  
“It was… nice. She put me down pretty quickly and we went to sleep. I thought we were starting to be better friends, now though, she’s acting differently again. She keeps ignoring me, or leaving the dorm before I can say goodbye. I’m not sure what I did wrong...”

“Do I have to bust er’ up? Or get Mako to bust er’ up?” He scowled.  
“No, no, I just don’t know what to do…”  
“Do you remember anything you said to her?” Mako asked, cutting in before Jamie had the chance to go off on a rant about how heart-breaking is not tolerated in his dorm. He sucked up a few tapioca pearls into his mouth as she replied.  
Mei scratched her head, “Not that I can think of in particular. Though, now that you mention it, she’s been acting strange since I told her I got lucky with you...”

“YOU FUCKIN' WHAT--”  
Jamie made a noise like a sputtering exhaust pipe as he inhaled the boba.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Innuendos are explained, schemes are set in place and Mako gets real anxious...

Jamie started laughing so hard he thought he was going to throw up.  
“YOU SAID WHAT?!” he crowed, gasping for breath as he clutched his midriff.  
“What do you mean ‘what’? I told her I got lucky with you!” Mei sounded helpless as she pleaded for an explanation, “She said I was lucky to have you and I said I got lucky with you!”  
Jamie felt like he was going to pop as he howled at the top of his lungs, he started to slide out of the cushioned booth until Mako grabbed him by the hoodie like a scruff.

Mako rolled his eyes and sipped his matcha, patting his boyfriend on the back to keep him from choking, “You told her you guys had sex, Mei.”  
She went pale, “...What?”  
“Get lucky means sex.” He grunted, putting his lips over the straw to punctuate.  
Jamie cackled, he knew his laugh was grating at the best of times but he couldn't stop himself, he was drawing looks from across the restaurant, “I’M GONNA’ PISS MYSELF.” Jamie shrieked.  
Mako slapped him on the back of the head and he fell forward onto the table to gasp out the last of his giggles. Mei looked peturbed, she wasn't quite used to their mutual manhandling of each other, yet.  
This was too much. He knew Mei was sheltered, surely not this innocent?! God, no wonder he was such a bad influence, he thought between giggles. 

“Is that why she’s been acting so funny?!” Mei’s voice squeaked as she buried her head in her palms.  
“Probably.” Mako replied, “I don’t know this chick.”  
“Okay, okay, I’m back.” He heaved, wiping tears away with his sleeve and catching his breath, “I’m sorry, darlin’, I prefer to be with someone who can steamroll me into a mattress, someone who can really crank me’ hog. Y'know what I mean? You’re close, but you’re not really my type.”  
Mei’s face twisted in embarrassment. Mako made a noise of disapproval as he sucked up his drink and he flicked him in the ear. Jamie knew he was trying to hide a cute little blush.

“She must have thought… you and I… when I left your room…” She trailed off, unable to finish the sentence.  
“Oi, is the prospect of havin’ a one-legged one-night-stand with me really that tortuous?” He piped.  
“Shut up.” She moaned, her head in her hands again.  
“Shut up.” Mako repeated.

“Fine.” He griped, “We can fix this, just tell er’ we’re friends. It was a platonic friendship spooning, nothin’ more. No harm done.”  
Mei didn’t reply. She had taken Snowball back and had buried her face on his dome, he blinked his LEDs in bemusement, having gotten very comfortable with Mako. She looked genuinely cut up and didn’t move until Jamie prodded her with a spoon that Mako quickly smacked away.

“I can’t tell her that… She’d assume that I’d think she’d need to know that in the first place.” She mumbled, face down on her beeping robot.  
“Ya’ what?” He cocked his head.  
“If she clears things up, this girl will know Mei likes her.” Mako clarified.  
“Ooooooh, yeah, that puts you in a pickle, love...”

Jamie sat and scrunched up his face as he thought it all over, “You could just tell Zarya you like her, I spose’--”  
Mako was mid-slurp when he stopped, widened his eyes and then tried to play it off by finishing his drink. Jamie could read him like the back of his rusty hand, he knew all his tells by heart. Something was up.

“Is that name familiar to you, my dear Hoggie?” He asked, quirking an eyebrow at him.  
“...No.”  
“It is, isn’t it?”  
“...No.”  
“Hoggie.” He said, looking him up and down.  
“...I know her.” Mako said, crushing his plastic cup in his hands to cool off, “That’s it.”  
“Nah. I don’t think that’s it. C’mon. Spill it.”

Mei peeked out from her self-made embarrassment retreat to watch them both. He was having a staring contest with his boyfriend, which he was usually on the other end of receiving. Finally Mako cracked.  
“She mentioned you.” Mako said, finally turning away from Jamie’s burning stare.  
Mei sat up and adjusted her glasses, “She did?”  
Mako stopped and scrolled through his phone, letting the silence simmer between them all before he finally spoke again, “Jamie, did you break a vending machine last week?”  
“What the bloody hell does that have to do with anything?!” He threw up his hands, Mako gave him a pointed look before he spoke again, “I mean, yes, but what of it?!”  
“She mentioned you, too.”

Jamie sucked in air through his teeth, “Ah. All good things, I hope?”  
“... Nope.” Mako knitted his brow, Jamie was tempted to interrogate him, but he didn’t want to overstep his boundaries. Mako wasn’t a big talker at the best of times, he’d hate to stress him out and make him take out his inhaler.  
Mei leaned forward, “Mako, I don’t want to make you talk about things you don’t want to, but is it okay if I ask some questions?”  
Mako nodded shyly.  
“Good idea, you play good cop.” Jamie grinned. Mei ignored him.

“How do you know Zarya?”  
“Gym buddy.”  
“That’s nice. What do you do together?” Mei asked sweetly.  
“I spot her on the weights. Go jogging, sometimes. We box, too.”  
Mei seemed genuinely happy to hear about the little details, “I’m glad Zarya has a friend like you, have you known her long?” 

Jamie squirmed in place, he wanted to get to the good stuff. Mako seemed to relax as she made conversation with him, slowly inching towards the confession; she really did make a good good-cop. Turns out he'd known this girl over the internet for quite a while, he remembered something about him having a Russian mate he chatted to about protein shakes and all that, but had never put two and two together.

“So, does Zarya think me and Jamie--?”  
“Fucked? Yes.” He said.  
Mei stammered, “That wasn’t how I was going to phrase it, but thank you, I suppose. Did she tell you this?”  
“She texted me. Asked me for advice about her room-mate maybe getting with this gross shady guy.”  
“I am offended.” Jamie gasped, “I am not shady!”  
Mei offered him a sympathetic look before replying to Mako, “So she was just worried about me?”  
Mako pursed his lips and paused, “... Yeah.”

Jamie sighed. He knew there was more to it than that, he was hiding something else, but if this Zarya was a close friend he didn’t want to push him for secrets. He’d already been treated to a mother-lode of gossip.  
“Thanks for cooperating, hoggie,” He nuzzled under Mako’s arm and kissed him on the cheek, “You’ll get a cushy sentence after all that.”  
Mako pulled him closer and chuckled. He loved that laugh more than anything.

Mei sighed with relief, “Well, knowing that, why don’t we just go out altogether? That way I don’t have to make things awkward, and she’ll see you’re not a shady guy!”  
“Good idea! 'll be on me' best behaviour.” He chirped, “If I bring this one along, she’ll see I’m a fruit and not a threat.”  
Mako nodded slowly and twisted the plastic cup again. His nerves needed a while to cool off after that, he supposed.

“How about we go see that Doomfist movie next Saturday? I’ll tell her I’m bringing two friends.” Mei said.  
“Aces, sounds like a plan, as long as we get front row seats for the big lug.” Jamie joked, looking up at him and expecting a retaliation. Mako still seemed off, he was staring into his phone.  
“Cool! I’ll send her an invite now. Thank you so much, you two!” She said, happily humming a little tune as she texted her roommate, “There we go! I’m so happy I can get this all straight.”  
“I think you mean… not-straight.” Jamie wiggled his eyebrows at her.  
She giggled, she glanced up at the clock, “Looks like I better head back to my dorm before it gets dark out, I still got to pick up Snowball’s charging station.” She collected her stuff on the table and lifted snowball into her arms in front of her face, “Snowball says, ‘it was nice to meet you, Mako!’” 

Jamie watched his boyfriend melt as he gave a little wave back with his dinner plate hands. Mei was a genius to get him to open up like that, it usually took months for them to get a decent conversation started. She'd found his weak spot for kawaii shit and had mercilessly exploited it with that dopey little drone. That, and being a down-right sweetheart. He'd really hit the jackpot with Mei.  
Snowball trilled at him and happily slipped back into her satchel.

Mei waved goodbye and left them both, she had a spring in her step as she pushed her way out the restaurant doors.  
“Well, that was great! Huh?” He turned to Mako with a titter, Jamie picked up the salt and pepper shaker and make them smooch in his hands, “I’m gonna’ get them Sheilas together if its the last thing I do.”  
Mako grunted, “She’s nice.”  
“Sure is, and hey, who knew you had friends in high places?” Jamie asked, “Isn’t she some sort of international bodybuilder superstar? I saw her poster on the college ads in town.”  
“Weightlifter.” Mako corrected.  
“Right, right. Spose’ you could text her and let er’ know what went down, seein’ as you two are besties.” 

Jamie gave him a gapped tooth grin and kissed him again. Mako looked at him, then his phone and punched something in before snuggling back into his seat with a huff.  
“You tired, mate? C’mon, let’s take you home.”  
Mako nodded, watching his boyfriend squirrel around him and pick up his crutches. He ushered him out the door and gave dirty looks to anyone in his boyfriend’s way. 

“Y’know, I wonder about you sometimes, Hoggie.” Jamie mused to himself, walking slowly to make sure he didn’t overtake Mako lumbering on his crutches, “Lot’ more to you than meets the eye, eh? Who knows what's up them ginormous sleeves, huh?” He patted him on the shoulder.  
“Yeah...” He huffed.  
Jamie could tell he was flagging, no more pushing buttons today. Meeting people was challenging enough for Mako, he deserved to not be hassled for his own amusement. He was going to sweep him off his size thirteens and kiss him all over when they were home.

***

Mako gut twisted a little. He could text Zarya, no problem.  
All he had to do was tell her that the sewer rat she’d mentioned in a rant was his boyfriend and that he’d told the one personal thing she’d ever said to him she’d told to the one person who he wasn’t supposed to say it to. He held his breath as he typed.

_Left Meat Hook  
Sup  
Your roommate didn’t fuck jamie---_

He deleted it and started again.

_Left Meat Hook  
Sup  
I met your roommate._

A reply returned seconds later.

_Big Fuzzy Russian Arms Dealer ʕ •ᴥ• ʔ  
Mei???  
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa  
how??_

_Left Meat Hook  
Yeah  
She’s nice  
We’re in the same dorm, turns out._

_Big Fuzzy Russian Arms Dealer ʕ •ᴥ• ʔ  
Did she mention me? (°◡°♡) ugh no wait I'm trying not to get all mushy any more. trying to be cool, calm Zarya. It isn't going well... (ﾒ` ﾛ ´)_

Mako paused to think. He was so much better at texting than he was talking out loud, but it was still a struggle.

_Left Meat Hook  
Yeah  
She thinks your great_

He felt his fingers tense up. Why was this so hard? He could talk about fucking in a public resturant with ease but he couldn't admit who his boyfriend was to his only friend on campus? Well, aside from Mei, he cringed.

_Left Meat Hook  
That guy is---  
My boyfriend is---  
That shady guy---_

He kept deleting the messages over and over before he even finished the sentence. He winced to himself, maybe he could do it tomorrow...

_Left Meat Hook  
Mei invited me to go see a movie, you coming?_

_Big Fuzzy Russian Arms Dealer ʕ •ᴥ• ʔ  
AAAAA I do not want to embarrass myself!! (⇀‸↼‶) I will go but you have to keep me in check!_

_Left Meat Hook  
You won't. It will be fun._

He leaned back his seat. His boyfriend was looking up him with a smile like sunshine. He really hoped this wasn’t going to get messy...


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The smoke alarm is set off and it all gets a bit tense. Featuring drank Zarya.

“I am going to murder the simpleton who microwaved a spoon at this ungodly hour.” Hissed the french girl who lived on the floor below them, she was already on her second cigarette.  
The girl she recognised from the cafe the other day was yawning in orange pyjamas, “Too right…”  
“Seriously, who doesn’t know how to use a microwave?!” Groaned the Brazilian guy two floors above them who would blast out synth beats on Saturday nights.

Mei hung her head as she listened to them. She was wrapped up in a dressing gown under a flimsy umbrella, it was a freezing October night and it was spitting with rain. Everyone had gathered outside the halls after the smoke alarm had blared out. She knew exactly who would microwave a spoon at two o’clock in the morning. 

For an engineer, Jamie was pretty bad with cooking utensils. He’d explained that he’d grown up with gas camp-stoves and not much else as his home-town rebuilt itself on land it had reclaimed after the Omnium was destroyed. Supplies deep in the outback weren’t easy to find, especially in the midst of a civil war. He knew that you weren’t supposed to put plastic kettles on hot-plates in theory, but when you were tired and a little drunk it could slip your mind…

She wasn’t exactly delighted to be woken up, but she had sympathy for him. Then again, it wasn’t the first time it had happened… She wasn’t going to forget the toaster incident any time soon.

Jamie slunk out of the front door wrapped in his thin, shaggy coat and scarf over his worn pyjamas. Mako was just behind him, staring down anyone who dared even look at him. Sometimes Mako seemed to act like he was Jamie’s personal bodyguard, he was always close and watchful over his partner. Mei wished that she had someone half as attentive looking over her shoulder.

Mako guided him over to Mei before he trudged over to the stewards to explain what happened, Jamie gave her a watery smile. He fidgeted in place. He didn’t have anything to say as the strangers all around them stared daggers into his back.

“It's okay, Jamie.” She said, patting his back, “Accidents are bound to happen.”  
“Yeah. Its not doin’ me any favours though.” He said, shuffling in place, he glanced around and people turned away. Jamie shivered and tried to laugh it off, he’d obviously dressed in a rush and strapped on his prosthetic hastily on top of the knotted pant leg. He didn’t even have a shirt on.  
“Is the kitchen okay?” Mei moved the umbrella to allow Jamie to bow his head underneath it.  
“Yeah its fine, microwave snuffed it, but nothin’ aside from that…”  
“Then you’re fine, Jamie! If anyone tells you off, just apologise for waking them up.” She rubbed his shoulder. He leaned into it and gave her a wobbly, toothy grin. 

“Hey.” Mako had managed to make his way back, he was looking exhausted, he sighed. “Its all good. Waiting for the headcount.”  
“Thanks, Mate. I couldn’t face em’.”  
“It's coming out of your deposit.”  
“Eh, Acceptable losses with an occupational hazard like me...”  
Jamie gave him a faint smile from under the umbrella and Mako ruffled his hair. 

“Rutledge! Is that you?!”  
A merry voice sounded out from above the burble of the crowd.  
Mako turned and chuckled, Zarya sifted her way through the crowd. She was standing tall in a vest and black shirt, a grey blazer was over her shoulder getting spotted with rain. Mei thought she looked like she’d been away to accept an award at a fancy event, she always looked so distinguished.  
“How strange it is to see you with tattoos not out!” She grinned, she was swaying in place, “You are so cute in pyjamas!”  
“Told ya’ we live in the same dorm.” Mako laughed as he threw his arms open for her and rocked into the hug. Mako was in a huge fluffy white dressing gown and Pachimari lounge pants, Mei thought it was sweet that they practically matched.

Zarya glowed all over as she pulled him close. Holding onto him for a good minute. Mako raised an eyebrow over her head as she snuggled into him. He didn’t seem to mind, but it was odd. When she finally let go, Mei decided it was her turn.

“Zarya!” Mei flung her arms around her as she came close, caught off guard as she turned to see her and Jamie behind her old friend, “You didn’t answer my texts tonight! Where have you been, Coach?”

Mei wanted to enjoy the rich, woody scent of her fancy perfume but she felt Zarya stiffen under her hug. Mei dropped her arms and stepped away with a nervous chuckle, backing into Jamie who steadied her with his arm. He was fixed in place, too. Even Mako seemed off as he stared at the ground.

“I was caught up in meeting. Then went to social with athletics society. Then after party... I am sorry, Mysh--” Zarya coughed and cleared her throat, “Why are we all outside? What time is it, anyway?” Her voice slid over her words, she checked her watch and frowned at her wrist. Perhaps she was a little more drunk from her night out than Mei first thought.

“Smoke alarm.” Mako shrugged.  
“Ah. I see.”  
It only took a split second for Zarya to glance at Jamie, but Mei caught it. Jamie shrunk in place, hunching even further under her umbrella. Mei saw him take a step closer to his boyfriend, only for Mako to step away. It was as if they were all doing a dance that Mei didn’t understand. Jamie tucked himself back under the umbrella and huddled closer to Mei who rubbed his shoulder again.

“Are we on for next Saturday, still?” Mei broke the silence with a sunny voice, hoping that the furtive looks and shuffling would subside with enough positivity.  
“Of course!” Zarya slapped Mako on the back, for the first time ever Mei saw him lose his balance. Mako laughed gruffly again and slapped her back, making her stumble slightly. Though, Mei suspected that was due to the fact that she had been out drinking.

“I’ll see you th--” Jamie was cut off by a loud clap for attention from one of the stewards who confirmed it was safe to go back inside. The crowd heaved a sigh of relief before filing back into the building. Thankfully, there wasn’t any pushing or queue jumping.

“Slava bogu…” Zarya muttered to herself. Her eyes darted to Jamie for a moment once again. She wanted to say something, though, she wasn't going to accuse her of making mean faces like they were on the school playground. Mei wasn’t quite sure what that phrase even meant, she only knew she seemed to speak more Russian when she was frustrated.  
“C’mon.” Mako said, hoping to be first in line to get back into bed, “Night’.”  
“I’ll be seein’ ya.” Jamie said, waving to the both of them as he trailed after Mako hurrying off.

Mei yawned and let Zarya under her umbrella, “I cannot wait for us all to hang out together…”  
Zarya nodded, yawning in turn, “I can wait. Sleep first.”  
“Sure.” Mei said, chuckling.

The march back into their dorm was full of snide whispers and begrudging sighs. Zarya didn’t have anything to say, thankfully. She looked drained from her night out.  
“Are you okay?”  
“Yes, yes.” She said, waving Mei off as she yawned into her sleeve again, “I am just tired of parties. People. Talking.”  
“Do you have to attend?”  
“Not officially,” Zarya said with a half-smile, “But the big star is expected… Helps rally more members… team morale… Ugh.”  
Zarya crash landed on her bed and was still for a few moments before she started to unbutton her vest and shirt. Too tired to even drag herself to the bathroom, Mei rolled back into bed and faced the wall. 

Under the covers she distracted herself by picking music for the night; it needed to be something soothing, but not numbing. Something that she could at least focus on beyond the heady smell of pine and amber that wafted from Zarya’s side of the room. It smelled fresh, like a cold breeze, but bright like an evergreen wood. She shoved her face into her pillow, she wanted to scream in frustration but settled for making a pouty face into the cotton.

“M-Mei?”  
She sat up and turned slowly, she still wasn’t sure what the etiquette in other countries was for girls getting undressed together, so she was always cautious. Zarya was swaying slightly on her bed, still in her suit trousers but in a black bra with mussed hair. She guessed it was okay to look, seeing as she was called over. She swallowed the lump in her throat; it was lacier than she was expecting for Zarya’s tastes. Her head shook involuntarily as if she was trying to reset her thoughts.

“Yeah?”  
“Can you play song from the other night?”  
“Oh… this one?” Mei said, rushing to find the album on her phone.  
“... Thanks.” Zarya said, she was quiet for a while as she listened to the first few bars, Mei watched her with fascination.

“Mei?”  
“Yes Zarya?”  
“C-can I call you Myshka? Is okay?”  
“Of course!” Mei replied; she wanted to say that she loved it, she adored it, that she had googled it in her spare time to find out what it meant and had sent mouse pictures back and forth with Jamie as a stupid indulgence without telling him why, but she just smiled back, “You gave me the nickname, silly!”  
“I did.” Zarya nodded, “Yes…Okay.”  
She then looked down at herself, realised she was in her bra, paused and exited to the bathroom.

“Goodnight.” Mei called, wondering if she had done anything wrong.  
Zarya didn’t reply, she was humming to the track. She sounded off-key, yet happy. Her voice traced over the melody and it thrummed through the bathroom wall. Mei found herself following her voice into a deep slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now I know what you're thinking, wow Paz, no one is actually so stupid that they would put a plastic kettle on a hot plate. Unrealistic. No kudos for you.
> 
> But I tell you this, that happened in my first week of uni. I also dormed with a girl who we had to show how to work the kettle, oven, toaster and hoover. She literally could not boil an egg. Microwaving a spoon accidentally is not in the realm of fantasy for a dumbass like Junkrat.
> 
> Anyway, comment and tell me the stupid shit that happened at your college lmao


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mako regrets what happened last night, but not as much as Zarya
> 
> TW: Gay slurs. Homophobia. Sad Zarya.
> 
> Hope you're all ready to have some fuckin' feelings up in this bitch.

_Oink Oink!!_

Mako cracked his eyes open with a groan. Too early, he thought, blearily. His leg thrummed with pain and his head had a lulled ache from lack of sleep. Jamie’s alarm hadn’t gone off yet, so at least he wasn’t waking up to Metallica, or whatever the music was for a Friday morning. He rubbed his eyes and grabbed the phone from the bedside table. The light glared into his face.

_Big Fuzzy Russian Arms Dealer ʕ •ᴥ• ʔ  
HOW DRUNK WAS I LAST NIGHT_

Mako wrinkled his face as he squinted to read the text. His pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed before he wriggled to position himself to text back.

_Left Meat Hook  
drunk drunk._

_Big Fuzzy Russian Arms Dealer ʕ •ᴥ• ʔ  
Did I say anything embarrassing?!  
All I remember was hugging you last night and asking Mei some weird questions._

Mako curled in on himself. He remembered the whole thing. How he’d unconsciously stepped away from Jamie. All the dirty looks she hadn’t bothered to hide from them, the jealousy radiating from her as she looked at his boyfriend.

Meanwhile, Jamie snorted in protest as he moved. He was curled up against his belly with his head on his bicep. Sure, he woke up with a dead arm and drool on his tattoos, but he got to wake up to his own breath ruffling the tips of his tufted blond hair. He wouldn’t trade it for anything. He rolled his shoulder to let Jamie get comfortable again as he typed, feeling his skinny fingers sink around his waist. 

_Left Meat Hook  
Idk man  
You were kinda rude to Jamie  
Giving him a hell of a stink eye_

_Big Fuzzy Russian Arms Dealer ʕ •ᴥ• ʔ  
The idiot she is dating?_

He gave a rattling sigh.

_Left Meat Hook  
They’re not dating  
But he’s Mei’s bff  
Maybe apologise_

He sent it and put the phone down. If she hadn’t replied right away, then she wasn’t going to reply at all. He felt a chill of anxiety grip his insides. He would tell the truth today. There was no way he could avoid it before their group date. He counted his breaths in and out; it was days like this that made me miss the simplicity of his hometown. You didn’t have to impress anyone in the wop-wops.

He wrapped his arms around Jamie, pulling him into the crook of his neck, Jamie grumbled in response as he was picked up like a teddy bear. He stuck his right thigh between Mako’s leg and nestled into shirt.

“Oi.” He mumbled.  
“Oi.” Mako said back, their usual morning greeting.

Jamie wormed his head from his chest and looked up at him with those bright amber eyes, it would be a minute or two until his boundless energy kicked in, so Mako would always make the most of morning cuddles.

“Hog.”  
“Yeah?”  
“You love me, right?”

Mako hooked his chin over the back of Jamie’s head, he knew exactly why he was asking and it stung. He loved Jamie enough to follow him tens of thousands of miles away from home, he loved him so much he would take a bullet for him, he loved him more than pachimaris. But apparently not enough to admit he was his boyfriend to the only person on campus who had given him a chance. His jaw tightened as he tried to find the words.

“Shut the fuck up.” He replied.  
“Thought so.” Jamie sighed sweetly.

***

It wasn’t a bad hangover, though, it was her first for a long while. Zarya’s head ebbed and flowed with a wash of pain. She felt woozy and her mouth was dry. Light was peeking through the curtains as she texted. Dread crashed over her like a wave as Mako had replied.

_They’re not dating...  
Maybe apologise…_

Good news and bad news. They’re not dating, but that just meant he might be screwing her around. She rolled over and nuzzled her face into the pillow, apologising was out of the question, she would have to admit why she hated his guts in the first place. Then again, if they weren’t dating, it was worth getting on his good side. She couldn’t judge him without a proper conversation, after all. She’d only ever known him for the messes he made and the trouble he caused. She ought to follow Mei’s example, she thought, sighing.

Her phone vibrated somewhere under the covers. She groped around for it and wished she hadn’t checked it.

_Ms. Balabanov  
Watch yourself. Video call later.  
ATTACHED: www.weloveZ.com/latest/_

Balabnov was her PR representative. WeloveZ was a fan-blog, or in other words, a hive of gossip. It compiled vlogs, photos, forum posts and anything that was of interest to fans. Fans, and people who kept their eyes on Olympic future-hopefuls. Zarya wasn’t famous enough to have paparazzi following her around, yet she had to be careful about who posted what online.

She followed the link to see a selfie of her getting smooched on the cheek by Brigitte and Fareeha. Her arms were thrown around their backs and she was looking red in the face. _Pizdets._ That was a normal photo for any girl in their twenties, the comment section disagreed.

There were a lot of words that made her curl into a ball. Nasty, cutting, snide words from strangers across the world. The ones in English laughed at her drunk face, the ones in Russian were demanding better behaviour. But it was the one word comments that bled her dry. The ones she couldn’t say out loud. _Dyke. Homo. Fucking filth like her shouldn’t represent us._

Zarya put a hand over her mouth and sobbed into her palm. She swallowed tears back. Her head throbbed. She loved her country, she loved the people she made proud, this felt like a knife in her back. Zarya prayed that Mei didn’t hear her from the other side of the room. She’d already shown Mei her worst side last night, she didn’t need to wake up to a weak mess.

After a minute she wiped her tears and sat up. She was going to be strong today. She needed a run and a glass of water, and perhaps a gallon of porridge and a tub of multivitamins. She put on her game face ready to pretend last night had never happened when she noticed a thermos on her bedside table. From across the dim room she saw Mei’s bed was made and empty. Snowball opened one LED eye to peer back at her as it sat on her bed, warming up her folded pyjamas, much like a cheeky little cat.

Zarya took the thermos and rolled it in her hand, on the other side was a panda post-it note.

_‘Hope you feel better, Coach!_  
Take it easy  
Myshka x’ 

Zarya found herself pulling her knees to her chest, cradling the mug of what smelled like green tea. Tears rolled down her face, she was sure she didn’t deserve this.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mako has a panic attack.

_Hey  
I’m a big fuck off idiot  
and you’re gonna hate me  
Jamie is my boyfriend  
He’s dumb  
He’s irritating  
But hes the only one who keeps me sane in this world  
Sorry for keeping it from you  
I’m not good at this shit_

Sent.  
Mako felt like he was going to throw up. He lay there sweating bullets, his heartbeat bashing through his ear drums. The clock read four sixteen am, it was officially Friday. Better late than never, he thought through the haze, his brain a swarm of noise and fear. 

Why hadn’t he just told her? Why why why why why?!  
He had spent the last few days sparsely replying to her texts. Yesterday she had asked whether she was going to see him tomorrow and he’d bullshitted some excuse about his leg acting up. She was disappointed but just texted him pictures of pigs to cheer him up. God, he was such a bastard, he told himself. He screwed up his eyes and tried to calm down. 

“Hog… Hog…” Jamie sounded wide awake, he was so sensitive to Mako’s every move, “You’re shakin’.”  
Mako nodded, his breath was shallow. He had fistfuls of Jamie’s shirt and was pulling him tight against his torso.  
“Let go and I’ll getcha’ your meds.” Jamie smoothed his chest in slow strokes until Mako finally let go.  
“Sorry.” Mako mumbled.  
“Nightmares are shit, mate.” Jamie said, he fumbled out of bed and began hopping around in the dark for the pills on the desk, “Can’t imagine what fuckin’ monster could scare a brute like you. I’ll give em’ what for, just say the word, you hook em’, I’ll cook em’.” He rambled, he wasn’t making much sense but when Mako was anxious his first instinct was to make him laugh. 

The prospect of ruining everything is what fucking did it, he replied in his head.  
His dream has coiled his guts into knots and left his throat clenched. The dream hadn’t even made any sense, it was just a wash of Zarya’s anger and betrayal as he arrived with his boyfriend without telling her beforehand. He’d gasped awake and immediately reached for the phone, trying to shake off the chill of guilt that snaked around his body and the cramps of tangled anxiety. He should have told her straight away. Maybe this was going to make everything worse. Maybe she would call off the date and he could spend it hiding under the duvet. 

“Get that down ya’.”  
Jamie flicked on the table lamp and handed him some water and two little red pills for his anxiety. Mako sat up slowly and took them. Without Jamie he would lie in bed for hours telling himself to take them without actually getting up. Jamie passed over his blue inhaler and petted him gently as he took it in.  
“Christ.” He rasped, his heart still pounding but the chills and cramps subsiding, “What would I do without you?”  
“I dunno’, probably fuckin’ die of horny.” Jamie mused, “I know I would.”  
Mako growled hoarsely, “Not now.”  
“We ain’t gonna’ fuck now! I’d kill you, ya’ wheezy bastard!”  
“I meant-- don’t make me laugh--” He hacked a cough before slamming back down onto the pillow. He had a big stupid grin on his lips as his heart started to slow to a moderate pace.  
“I’ll stick to cuddlin’.” He said, Jamie pulled in close by his side and began to smooth his chest over and over until Mako felt his eyes grow heavy. 

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled.  
“For what?” Jamie asked, cocking his head as he soothed his chest.  
“Just… Sorry.”  
“Don’t be sorry for being my hog.” 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit gets intense when Jamie and Zarya try and have a fresh start.

Alright, he told himself, Mako was down for the count after a hell of a night, the poor sod, Mei had been lighting up his phone all day with excitement and he’d had hardly any sleep. He just had to sit through a movie and make a good second impression. Easy. 

He was bricking it.

He was pacing up and down the bus shelter that would take him into town, it was bucketing down and mist was rising off the roads, but he arrived early to make sure he didn’t turn up late. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and jangled the change. The thin coat had holes in each pocket, so he had to be careful in case they slipped through the lining. It kept his shaking fingers busy. The bus was due in twenty minutes, he couldn’t sit still. 

He went over the plan one more time. Catch the bus to the town centre where he’d meet Mei and Zarya, give her a nice hand shake and not make any blue jokes. He’d buy a fuck load of popcorn to keep his mouth shut through the movie. Then they’d all get dim sum, or Jamie would sneak out and let them get all mushy. 

He could do this. He was going to be the best wingman ever, or at least, the least shitty third wheel.

“Hello.”  
He spun in place, Zarya was standing on the other side of the shelter. She was in a thick waterproof coat and a pair of blue jeans with pink stitching. She looked stiff as she waved at him.  
“G’day!” He said, his voice cracking slightly with nerves, he cleared his throat and stood up straight, “Look’s like we’re hangin’ out, finally!”  
“Yes.” She said. He tried to read her face, but it was like trying to read the Mandarin Mei had given up teaching him. She stared through him before sitting down on the creaky bench under the shelter. 

“Jamie, yes?”   
“And you’re Zarya! Mate, I’ve heard so much about you, nice to finally have a chance to talk!” He beamed, he quickly wiped down his prosthetic before offering a hand, part of him felt like he was at a job interview.   
Zarya shook his hand loosely and gave him a weak smile, “I… owe you apology.”   
He raised his eyebrows, “Do ya’?”  
“I… ignored you when I was drunk the other night, gave you the dirty looks and assumed… Listen, let us have a fresh start. I have not been fair to you.” She said, taking his hand again.

“Well, crikey, that’s a first for me, no worries! Let’s get this thing started!”  
He grabbed her hand again and flashed his toothy smile. Jamie felt like he was going to burst with excitement; no one ever gave him a chance like this. He was always the bogan no one wanted to sit next to on the bus, the kid with filthy shoes and an annoying laugh, now he was an adult things were looking up. 

She gave him a flat smile back, withdrawing her hand to her pocket when he was done ringing it, “I-I have one thing to say.”

Jamie wouldn’t let his stomach drop. He wouldn’t let himself deflate. It was probably nothing; she was giving him the benefit of the doubt, he couldn’t let ‘but’ ruin everything.

“Y-yeah?”  
“Mei is precious to me. She has been through a lot.” She stated, “She deserves good thing.”  
He laughed breathily as he replied, “You’re gonna’ have to catch me up, love, I don’t--”  
“I am saying I know your type, prove me wrong.”

Silence burned like a fuse in the distance between them. This wasn’t a fresh start, it was a warning shot. He was on his best behaviour and it still wasn’t enough.

Jamie let out a harsh laugh in disbelief, this girl really thought after everything that he was going to mess around with Mei for the hell of it.  
“Okay, love, what kind of ‘if I can’t have her no one can’ bullshit is this? Eh?”

Silence. Zarya stuttered with outrage.

He threw out his arms wildly as he spoke, “Cos’ I haven’t said two words to you, and yet you hate my fuckin’ guts. Just cos’ you got this big fat crush on this sheila and don’t have the guts to act on it, don’t mean you get to take it out on me!” He snarled.

The sensible voice in Jamie’s brain, the one that told him not to flick his lighter when he was bored and to ask permission before he put his legs up on the furniture, was telling him to quit whilst he was ahead. To just shut up and walk away. Maybe salvage the train wreck he was about to cause. Unfortunately, the rest of his brain was too loud to hear it. He was going to poke this bear for all it was worth.

Zarya loomed inches from his face, a tactic that would have intimidated most people, he was sure, but not someone like Jamie who’d lost his first tooth in a fist fight at age eight. Bigger ladies than her had choked him out for shits and giggles.  
Her voice was low and thick with disgust, “Mei might think she knows you. You have yet to prove that you are nothing but a nuisance.”

“You don’t know shit about me!” Jamie screamed back at her, his face torn up with rage, people on the other side of the street turned to stare at the scene, “And you don’t know shit about Mei! Maybe she hangs around a derro like me for a reason, maybe it's to keep you from droolin’ all over her! Or, hell, maybe I’m just a good lay!” His voice dropped to a scalding low as he bared his teeth. No going back now.

Zarya stepped back, she had gone pale and was crushing her front teeth into her lip, biting back tears that brimmed in the corners of her eyes.

“Save it. I’ll fuck off so you can have your date.” He shot a look back at her, “Treat her fuckin’ right.”

He didn’t know where he was going to go. His hair was soaked through within minutes of walking down the street. He couldn’t go back to Mako and he wasn’t going to fuck this up for Mei any more than he already had. 

Time rushed past him in a damp, cold blur. After an hour of walking with numb limbs in a drenched coat, he took out his phone and leaned against a wall at the mouth of an alley.

_m8 Ling Zhou  
Are you okay?! Zarya said you ran off!_

He chattered out a laugh between his teeth as he typed. He felt delirious, giggling to himself as if he'd planned it all along. He was beginning to shake from the cold as water dripped off his long nose.

_DR BOOM PHD  
SURPRISE!! Ur goin on a date now!!   
Thank me later lololololololol_

_m8 Ling Zhou  
JAMIE NO!!!  
;-; don’t leave meeee_

_DR BOOM PHD  
JAMIE YES   
U deserve a good date w out me fuckin it up  
Enjoy ur movie xxx  
 ___

__His breath rattled as he shoved his phone in his pocket; he had to hand to Zarya, at least she had the best in mind for her. Maybe she had a point, good guys didn’t hang around girls like a bad smell and force them to hang out when they were feeling pathetic. Good guys didn’t lash out at their friends crushes and storm off like a toddler. Good guys didn’t lie to save face._ _


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zarya and Mei are determined to make today a good day, but it all gets too much for Zarya.
> 
> CW: Panic attack, flashbacks, character has a breakdown.

Zarya watched him walk away. If she was in her right mind, she would go after him, apologise and try to pick up the pieces from this disaster. Zarya wasn’t in her right mind; she had already lost half of the words he had screamed at her in her mind. All she felt was a deep, searing guilt.

She was nauseous from sleepless nights, her body was sore and bruised as she had tried to distract herself with more exercise late night at the gym, she was overworked from the Athletics Society, she still had the words of her PR Manager ringing through her head from the other day. And on top of all of that she had woken up to some stranger starting twitter thread with all the evidence of her sexuality that was gaining traction.

She had shut off her phone after that. It served her right for checking her mentions before she even looked at her texts and emails. Zarya was pretty sure she had some urgent late night messages, although she was in no mood to deal with them, she would see Mako at the cinema today anyway. She had showered, skipped breakfast and jogged out in the rain until she couldn’t feel her legs. 

Her day wasn’t going all that well, no matter how hard she tried to keep on track. She slapped her own cheek to keep herself focused. She had tried to fix things, and it had failed, no use in punishing herself over it. If he was gone, good riddance. 

She sat on the bus and stared out of the window the entire ride, letting her eyes slide over the world around her in a haze. She thanked the bus driver and was brought back to reality by Mei standing by the entrance with a bright smile across her face. Zarya let out a long breath that she had been carrying since she had gotten up that morning, Mei could make this a good day.

***

With all the adrenaline that had gone to her head, Mei didn’t notice how pale Zarya was at first as she purchased her ticket. That she looked unsteady on her feet and was sweating under the indoor lights as she had explained that Jamie had walked off from the bus stop. Mei was too busy tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear and making sure everything was going to plan.

She’d double checked all her work and submitted it online for the final deadline, though it was the last thing on her mind.

She’d chosen a comfy sweater and an overcoat that was weather appropriate and looked cute but not so cute it seemed like a special occasion.

While, yes, Mako and Jamie had scampered off and abandoned her to her fate, and she was going to lecture them long and hard afterwards for ruining her plan, she had even prepared for that outcome. She had scrawled on her hand a list of essential talking points, it was covered by her woollen sleeves that she kept tugging down nervously. She’d even written FOCUS in black biro and underlined it, just in case. 

“You know, its so good to see you again. I mean, apart from our room, of course.” She grinned and hugged Zarya.  
“You have no idea how nice it is for me to see you,” Zarya said, “That is, I cannot wait for movie… yes.” She cleared her throat with a cough. Her arms felt frail against Mei’s back, like she was wrapping her arms around the air.   
Mei broke away and walked by her side into the theatre, she was noticing how unsettled she seemed and decided to let her have some quiet before the show. Mei caught Zarya flinching as an advert for energy drinks blared across the screen. She reached out and touched her arm, which Zarya met with a half smile. They had front row tickets, for the sake of Mako’s broken leg who wasn’t here to appreciate it. 

“We can move back if it's too loud, if you would like that.” Mei said as they hovered by their empty seats.  
“No, no, no, I do not want to cause trouble.” She replied, waving it away as she sat down, “I do not go to cinema regularly, what is the movie about?” Zarya said, she looked over her shoulder to see no one was behind her and straightened to full height.  
“Its the sequel to that other Doomfist movie, it's about this man who man who saves Numbani with this gauntlet he made by hand, if you haven’t seen it, we could watch it online together! I love all the characters so much, and the costumes are amazing! If I had known you hadn’t seen it, I would have chosen another movie…” She trailed off, the lights started to dim overhead and the theatre hushed.   
“Please, do not worry, I just want to have nice time with you.” She whispered back, “I’m sure this movie about punching will be very satisfactory, Myshka.” 

And with that it began. Hover cars soared into view with a car chase and lasers were fired back and forth as a heist took place. Mei settled into her seat, her eyes darting to the right of her to see how Zarya reacted to each moment on screen. She shook herself and looked at the back of her hand, reminding herself what she had underlined.

Soon they had both settled, getting lost in the action and the characters. Zarya seemed slightly lost in place but her eyes lit up watching stunts play out; characters sparred together and she leaned forward to take in the nuances of the fight. 

_KRA-KOOM._  
A bomb was set off by the villain; the new Doomfist had broken into the old Doomfist’s hideout. The screen whited out and there was a stinging buzz as the character’s ears rang with noise, flames erupted through the room and caught alight to everything in sight.

“Oh!” Mei squeaked, she hopped slightly in her seat before chuckling and patting her chest, she leaned over to whisper to Zarya, who was still staring at the screen, “Sorry! That made me jump…!”

Mei realised she had scrunched herself into her seat and was head to shoulder with Zarya. Meanwhile, she hadn’t moved a muscle, she must have the instincts of a tiger not to be shocked as she was. But now she could feel herself lean back, she begged herself to stop, her mind screaming as she let her temple rest against her. She sank beside her, millimeter by millimeter, until her head was resting on her shoulder.

Maybe, things could work out. The small voice in her mind was like a spark, catching alight to the little hopes she had tried to hide away. Maybe, this was okay, and it wasn’t wrong to fall so fast and so hard. She turned to look up at Zarya. She was crying.

“Zarya?”  
She was staring through the screen, it was as if there was nothing but static behind her eyes. Her chest pumped with short, shallow breaths. Her face was taut with silent dread.  
“Zarya, Zarya!” Mei sat up and shook her shoulder until she turned to face her with tear smudged eyelashes.  
“I-I..I am--” She was swallowing back panic with a hoarse voice when she stood up and briskly walked out the theatre.

Mei jumped up to follow after, leaping through the doors she had left swishing behind as she burst through the exit.

“What’s wrong?!”  
Zarya planted herself down on a bench in the dimmed hall way of the corridor. Mei could feel the soar of the music and thumping booms of explosions through the walls. Zarya was hardly breathing at all now, her fingers dug into her thighs and she tipped her head back like she was trying to forcefully stop the tears.

“Just breathe, that’s all you need to do.” Mei sat some distance away from her on the seat but reached over to touch her shoulder.  
Tears flooded down Zarya’s cheeks as she choked on her words, “I haven’t seen-- I haven’t felt like this-- I--” 

Zarya must not even know how she is feeling right now, she thought. She petted her shoulder gently and audibly breathed slowly for her to follow.  
“Its okay, you don’t have to tell me--”  
“I just remember-- when I was a kid-- the fire and the noise…” She made a guttural noise as she sobbed and heaved in a deep breath, “I am sorry, I haven’t done this in a long time… I am sorry for--”  
“Zarya.” Mei said, placing more weight on her shoulder and inching closer, “Just breathe.”

They began to breathe together, slowly. In for five, hold for five, out for seven. Just like her counsellor had taught her to do when the anxiety took over. When the memories swarmed in her mind; Zarya must have had some nasty memories to reduce her to a mess like this. Mei kept counting down the numbers under her breath as Zarya finally managed to catch her breath. They stayed together in the hall, Mei eyed anyone who stared for too long and eventually reached out to dab her eyes with her sleeve.

Zarya let out a laboured laugh and mumbled a shaky thank you.   
“Try to distract yourself, then we can go home.” Mei smiled, stroking into her shoulder again, “Want me to find some cute pics of penguins on my phone?”  
“S’okay…” She sniffed, “I will just check messages.”

Her white knuckled hands shook as she reached into her pocket to fish out her phone. The screen made the wet corners of her eyes sparkle. Mei kept breathing slowly to encourage her to soothe herself. But Zarya had stopped. She was holding her breath again and Mei studied her face.

“I… I have to go.” Zarya stood up, she was still shaking as she dragged her sleeve across her face and straightened herself up.  
Mei grabbed her elbow and tugged at her gently, “Zarya, you should stay, you’re not okay right now. You’re not well, what’s happened?”  
Zarya’s voice raised briefly, “I must fix things. Now.” She turned and began to walk stiffly down the hall before turning around with a curt nod, “Stay, watch film. Thank you, for everything, I must go.”

Mei got up and tried to keep up with her, but Zarya had longer legs and started off into a jog down the hall and out the lobby. She stood as people streamed out of a showing, letting them part around her as she watched her disappear through the front doors.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It all ends in tears with Mako and Jamie.  
> CW: Couple fighting, sad times ahead.

_Pachi-Mako  
Where’s Jamie?  
Please respond.  
Its been hours.  
Are you okay?_

_Pachi-Mei-ri  
I thought he was with you?  
Is Zarya with you?  
She ran off half way through the movie,  
I’ve been searching for her all over town,  
Is she down the hall right now?  
She seemed really upset.  
I think she had a panic attack._

_Pachi-Mako  
I have no idea where he is  
or Z  
He’s not answering his phone  
He hasn’t been with you the whole time?  
Jfc not good  
Did she say anything about what upset her?_

_Pachi-Mei-ri  
No, he said he stayed away to make it a date between us.  
He said it was a surprise you both planned...  
She just had a panic, checked her phone and just ran away.  
Everything’s gone wrong.  
I’m going to stay in town, try the gym off-campus and call her friends.  
I’ll keep an eye out for him._

_Pachi-Mako  
Fuck._

Mako had finished typing when Jamie had slipped through the door. He whipped his head around at the slight creak, usually Jamie would burst in and slam it shut, or kick it in if he had his hands full. 

“Where the FUCK, have you been?” Mako struggled to get up on his crutches as he roared, he hobbled over to Jamie who was still hunched over by the entrance. His clothes were soaked through, the smell rain rose off his clumped, wet hair.  
He sniffed and tried to avoid his gaze, “Nowhere special.”  
Mako let him walk to the bed where he perched at the end and stared at his shoes, he let out an exasperated growl, “What is wrong with you? I can't go chasing after you with my dud leg, I thought you got beat up or something.”  
Jamie let his gaze fall to the floor as water dripped from his clothes, “Why didn’t you tell her about us?”

Mako felt his heart crawl into his throat. His ear drums were being pounded on by his pulse.  
“I fucked up.”  
“Yeah.” Jamie said flatly, “I know. But why?”  
“I meant to--” Mako’s voice was pulled out from under him like a rug, it was if his throat was jammed like an old gear box. His lips twitched as he tried to shape the words.  
“Why?” Jamie asked, there was no malice, there was nothing but a deep hurt edged on his voice.  
Mako approached his side of the bed slowly, he wanted to say nothing and swaddle him in the big fluffy towel they shared. He wanted to kiss him slowly from his shoulder to his forehead and drown him in blankets on the bed. But he had to say something. The knife of his strained breath twisted in his throat.

“Right. So you’re embarrassed by me. Got it. One more reminder that I’m fuckin’ worthless.” Jamie got up with a sigh, and began to pull off his shirt and jeans, he grabbed any old dirty clothes off the floor to yank over his head, “I’ve had the shittiest fuckin’ time of it, and you know what, mate? I’ve had enough.”  
Mako gripped his shoulder, he held him still without crushing him. He was always afraid of making sudden movements or grabbing Jamie, even when they were kids he would always stay out of games of bulldog with the kids unless he tackled poor, scrawny Jamie. He shifted his weight on his shoulder and locked eyes with him.

Jamie laughed and shook him away, his voice was clammy from the cold, “Why do you even want me here? Everyone else thinks I’m a bastard on sight, apparently, I’m guilty until proven innocent. And now that Russian chick thinks I’m out to fuck up Mei’s life for the hell of it, just because you couldn’t admit to being with me!”

Mako watched him struggle into dry clothes and throw the door open,  
He croaked, “I love you. You know I love you.”  
“You say that, but are you even with me? Because you’re not acting like it. Everyone’s been on my fuckin’ case since I moved here and you haven’t said a word. And I didn’t say shit because I thought I had you, I didn’t need anyone else. I thought it was us against the fuckin’ world and here you actin’ like you wanna’ trade up as soon as you meet someone people give a shit about.”

“That’s not true--”  
“What did I do wrong?! Why do you hate me?!”  
“THAT’S NOT FUCKIN’ TRUE, RAT.” Mako bellowed, “I JUST WANTED TO KEEP THE ONE CHANCE WE GOT AWAY FROM HOME.”

They hardly ever fought; they bickered, they teased, they threw weak little punches into each other’s shoulders and stole the duvet away from each other in the night. But they never had to fight, nothing had come between them that they couldn’t fight back against.  
His boyfriend stood half-slumped by the door, his chest with heaving as he sobbed.  
Jamie’s voice split and creaked, his eyes spilling over with tears, “I just need a god damn break.” He hiccoughed.

He stumbled out the door in one of his too-small, pit stained shirts, dragging a hoodie in one hand. He didn’t even have the energy to slam it.  
Mako collapsed back on the bed, his own voice ringing in his ears as he stared through the door. He just wanted one more chance.

**Author's Note:**

> As you can imagine, this took a lot of love, time and effort. So donations to help rent and other boring stuff are appreciated. [Kofi here.](https://ko-fi.com/pascalvine) Many thanks for all the appreciation and comments, they really keep me going.


End file.
